Don't feed the animals

This is not my sad face. Do not mistake it for my sad face.

This is my "hungry face". I am hungry.

I always feel weird saying things like "I am hungry" or "I'm starving". Working at a food bank I deal with people who are actually in need of food and at risk of going hungry each day. I usually have a slight sense of guilt that surfaces anytime I exclaim how hungry I am. In reality (obviously) I am not at serious risk for hunger.

Now that that has been explained.....
I am sooooo hungry. (What?? I have no conscience...don't act surprised)

I started my IVF medications last Monday. One week down....wahoo! Next Monday I have a doctor's appointment where I assume they will teach me how to poke holes in my body daily, i.e. give myself shots. But, until then, I am stuck with taking birth control (ironic...I know) and Metformin.

I have been advised that while on Metformin I should eat a low to no carb diet. Riiii-ght. No carbs. PSSShh...please. I love carbs. I live on carbs. Or at least I did. This adjustment to a low carb diet (let's not kid ourselves, there is no way I am going no carb) has been rocky.

I feel hungry all the time. Even right after I eat. Nothing (that is low carb) sounds appealing to me and all of this is accompanied by a daily mix of nausea.

Of course....I can eat carbs, but the side effects aren't pretty....and I won't go into details here.

Each day seems a little better than the day before and I hope this trend continues. Until then, if you see me out in public looking completely depressed....Don't fear- it's not depression, I am simply eyeballing that delicious looking sandwich you are eating. Don't get too close with your food or feed me....I bite.

Oozing with natural talent

Saturday night I joined a friend at a place called "Painting with a Twist". Basically this is a instructor lead painting session. It's a three hour class where they provide all the art supplies and instruction you need to create a masterpiece.

You can bring your own wine (or beverages) and snacks. So not only did I have fun with a friend, but we drank wine and ate great snacks, AND we created some amazing pictures!

Am I a natural artist? This picture was taken with my phone, so any blurriness or lack of skill level is simply the phone picture quality and has NOTHING to do with my painting! You be the judge......



It's Neyland Stadium! And just for your comparison....



Yep, I think we can all agree I am a natural!!! My painting just looks so much better when you step back about 8 feet, but I assume that's normal!

The class was so much fun. They have hundreds of different types of pictures to paint, you just have to check the calendar to see what they are painting each week. Here is the link (for Knoxville)....in case you are interested!

http://www.paintingwithatwist.com/knoxville/

No one has asked me for my autograph......yet...but I expect to be signing them soon!

A little guy time

This week will start the beginning of the drug regimen that will lead up to our IVF procedure. It starts out pretty innocently, and although I am hoping for the best.... I am expecting (preparing) for the worst.




In preparing for the she-beast I may become in the next few weeks, I am offering my husband as much extra curricular guy time he needs. So....calling all of my male readers....(crickets chirping), Brandon could probably use some "outside of the house time" in the coming days. If you live in Knoxville and want to give my poor husband a change of scenery (and sanity), feel free to call.

I am hoping that being some what self-aware of the she-beast that sleeps within might help with my possible (but not limited to) mood swings, hot flashes, irrational judgement, sensitivity and psychosis! Okay...I made a couple of those symptoms/side effects up...I will let you choose which ones!

Wish him luck!

Am I on fire?

We ordered yet another IVF drug this afternoon. I had to order it from a pharmacy in Colorado. The pharmacy is called Barron Pharmacy. Barron (barren) pharmacy. Really? I am sure they deal with more than just IVF meds, but still.....terrible name, yet very very funny! I can't help but laugh every time I think of it. You can't make this stuff up! IRONY......(yelled towards the sky as I drop to my knees and pump my fists in the air) But, seriously, that's funny.

Lupron. We ordered Lupron. After placing the order, the woman (from Barron Pharmacy) proceeded to tell me that this drug can cause menopausal/post-menopausal like symptoms. She also said (her words) "Expect Hot Flashes."

Hmmm? This gets just a little more interesting every day. Bring on the hot flashes.

I may have to make this my motto!

A lot happened, 4 years ago.

Exactly four years ago today I was cursing many things. My best friend (sorry JoElla), my body, ridiculous ideas, the entire state of FL, and last, but nearly not least (trust me), Disney characters.

At the time, exactly four years ago, I was right in the middle of running a marathon. Yeah....26.2 miles. Every last tenth of a mile. Right about now I think I was nearing mile 20 and the word "run" was really being stretched to meet it's definition. I was in motion, yes, but "running" would not accurately describe that motion. It was more like walking (limping), but in my mind, I was running.

This was the Walt Disney World Marathon, which naturally (as it's name would imply) took place in Disney World. At first, it was so exciting. Each mile we would see different Disney characters. Our first encounter was Chip and Dale. I was so excited to see them I nearly knocked people over to get a hug. Funny how things change, because by mile 15 I was threatening to punch any character that got near me. At mile 18 I hit my wall. The adrenaline had pretty much worn off and the idea of running 26.2 miles was so ludicrous, I couldn't figure out why I had agreed to do the race in the first place.

JoElla and I crossing the finish line


Showing off our medals after the race. It may not look like it here, but I wanted to die.


At mile 20 I wanted to quit. I was done. Jo kept encouraging me and all I wanted to do was punch her (sorry Jo). But, we pushed through and we made it to the finish! Although I probably was not the ideal running partner by the end of the race, I am forever thankful to JoElla for pushing me through the experience. It is an accomplishment I will always be proud to say I completed. And one that lead me to an even bigger accomplishment.......

Quitting Smoking. I know, gross, right? I was a smoker. And towards the end, I was a fairly heavy smoker. I smoked over a pack a day. For nearly 10 years. I tried several times to quit. There were two major factors to me quitting.....
1. I had met a man (Brandon) I really liked and he was not interested in dating a smoker. (He never complained, but I could tell he didn't find smoking sexy..big surprise, huh?)
2. If I could run a freaking marathon, there was absolutely NO reason why I couldn't quit smoking.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't just run a marathon then say BYE to cigarettes cold turkey the next day. I had cut back on my smoking quite a bit, as I had met Brandon in October of 2006. I had also cut back because I was busy training for the marathon. These two factors made it possible for me to finally kiss cigarettes good bye. In fact, the day after I returned home from FL (the day after the marathon) I had my final cigarette. And I haven't looked back.

I know there are people who will make up 1,000 excuses why they can't quit (I was one of those people), but you can. Just do it. Just tell yourself you have had enough. And take it one hour at a time. If you can make it through one regularly scheduled "smoke break" without a cigarette, then pat yourself on the back and look towards making it through one more. Be strong and be proud of yourself. That pride will take you a lot farther than a cigarette. Trust me!

Happy Birthday Grandma

Today my Grandma is celebrating her 91st birthday! I would assume in 91 years of life you acquire lots of friends and loved ones. Most of these friends and loved ones probably want to call you on your birthday and tell you how much they love you and how much they adore you. I know that is what I would like to do.

But, I am finding that to be a hard task. You see, Grandma Ryan does not have call waiting. I have been trying to get through to her all morning, but with no success. Busy signal.....all day long.

I think it's a great problem to have. So many people wanting to wish you a Happy Birthday. I only wish there was a queue.....and I could officially get in line.

Happy 91st Birthday Grandma! You are sweet and smart. Loving and funny. You are my hero in so many ways. Strong, both physically and mentally. And perfectly stubborn when you want to be. 91 years of life and you still laugh often and know how to tell a good joke. Your stories are amazing and always fresh. You can remember the most amazing details in your stories....down to what you may have been wearing or the name of the street you were on. You are an amazing woman....a constant reminder of how to be strong! I love you more than any blog or words could express. I only hope you know that anytime you think of me.

Now I just hope I can get through to you on the telephone, so I can tell you all these things personally! I love you!