Recap- part 2

As soon as the doctor told me there were zero sperm in the sample, my natural, knee-jerk reaction was to laugh.  There had to be a mistake, right?  No, my doctor was sure.....having zero sperm was a rare condition called Azoospermia and could be caused by several different factors.  The next step in our process would be for Brandon to see a specialist to help determine our reason for azoospermia.


We soon learned my husband had a congenital absence of the vas deferens.  Basically, he was born without vas deferens ..... like being born with a vascetomy.  It was a pretty rare diagnosis, but we still had hope.  There was still the chance that he was producing normal sperm, they just had no way of getting out.  And this was where we learned that the only opportunity we might have at having a biological child was through IVF ICSI- in vitro fertilization with Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection.  Basically ICSI is a special form of IVF.  Because we are special! So, so special!


We met with a fertility specialist, or Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE).  She informed us that IVF ICSI was indeed our best bet at having a biological child.  Basically, the RE would inject a single sperm directly into a mature egg in a lab.  My doctor would set my body up to grow and harvest healthy eggs.  When the time was right they would remove these eggs and inject each one with a single sperm.  The hope is that the eggs are fertilized by the sperm (obviously) and make embryos.  The embryos are given a couple of days to grow and if they are viable, they are transferred back into me.  I mean, no big deal, right? Oh.....and then there is the cost of IVF ICSI. Amazingly.....that whole process in a lab, plus the cost of medications procedures and appointments, was not cheap.


After all this, I was a mess of emotions.  We had learned there was only one way for us to get pregnant.  It was not cheap or easy and there was absolutely no guarantee.  This whole part freaked me out.  Yet, at the same time, I was so relieved.  Finally.....we knew what was going on and exactly what we needed to do.  We had been searching for answers for so long and now we knew!

To be continued......

Where it all began- A recap of our IVF journey part 1

Brandon and I were married in 2008.  For us, there was never any doubt about having children.  Initially, our only real question revolved around when to start.  Very shortly after getting married we considered starting right away.  The more we talked about it, the more we realized we needed some time.  Time to enjoy married life, time to enjoy our friends and time to save and mentally prepare ourselves for the idea of being someone's parent.  Little did we know that in the end we would have more time than we ever dreamed of and that NO amount of time will ever properly prepare you to be called mama or dada.


Apparently sometime in 2009 we decided we were ready. We were prepared to bring another life into this world and be responsible for that life (ha). Shortly before we made this decision I had seen my doctor.  I let her know we were thinking about starting our family and if she had any suggestions or immediate or obvious concerns, I would love to hear them.  My doctor said to me "You are young and you are healthy.  If you try for more than  6 months with no success, come back and we can talk."  Of course, at the time I was sure we would have no problems and I would be back only when I was pregnant.  I will never understand why my doctor told me to try for only 6 months and not at least a year like I so often hear from other people, but in the end I was grateful.


Approximately 8 long, frustrating, and sad months later I made an appointment to return to the doctor to discuss possible complications with conceiving.  I had tracked my periods for the past 6 months, knew my ovulation days and could tell you, almost to the minute what was happening with my cycle.  My doctor drew blood and ran all the normal tests to determine what might be causing issues.  Once my results were in, we would have a better idea of where a good starting point might be.  I got a phone call later that all my labs were fine.  The next step, my doctor informed me, was to have a semen analysis.


If I had to guess, I would say that most men would be apprehensive about giving semen specimens for testing.  My sweet husband, like most, shared this apprehension.  Thankfully, he knew this was the only way we could move forward with our process. Since my doctor had arranged for us to work with the clinic that would do the test on the semen, I was actually the one to receive the phone call once the results were in. At the time, I was working in the Development Department of a local non-profit and on this day in particular, I was setting up an event.  I got the phone call from my doctor about an hour before our event began....not exactly the best timing.


First, I was reminded that a normal or average semen sample contains between 40 million and 300 million sperm. Anything below 20 million sperm per sample is considered a low sperm count.  Okay, I think to myself, I must need to prepare myself for a low number.  I keep thinking she is going to tell me my husband has between 200,000 and 300,000 or something.  A number that, although very low in standards of average samples, still exists and can be worked with.  I was not prepared to hear that my husband's sample came back with zero sperm.  Not one.  Not a single one.  It's quite rare, she tells me. It's a condition called Azoospermia.  Azo-what, I think? Freaking great, now who is going to tell my husband?

To be continued.....

Hello World!

Oh my... It's been so many months since I visited the blog world that I was dreading even opening my blogger account. Life carries on, as we all know, whether we want it to or not.  And not surprisingly, the blogger world has continued to turn even in my absence. In March 2014 the Bice family moved from Knoxville, TN to Champaign, IL. I approached this move as an adventure for our entire family. Moving 500 miles from our family and friends was scary and overwhelming, but calling it an adventure took a lot of the anxiety out of it for me.  Go figure. 

We have lived in Champaign for 18 months and I can honestly say.... I love it here! Obviously, I miss my family and TN friends, but both Brandon and I feel fortunate and grateful to have found a fun, family-friendly community with a neighbor that likes to "gather" and "celebrate"! The "air quotes" are meant to imply that our neighborhood likes to party!

Brandon really loves the company that he works for and I am grateful I to have the opportunity to stay home with Josie. It has been a learning experience, for both her and I, to say the least. I wasn't sure we would survive the first few weeks together, but once we established a routine life became much simpler. Two weeks ago Jojo started preschool (whhaaat....my baby) and two weeks ago I started something new, too! It's called peeing in privacy and it's amazing. Although we love our time together, preschool has been a pleasant break for us both.  I plan to use this extra time (which is actually only a few hours a day, two days a week) to start writing again and running OUTSIDE again and reminding myself that the task of grocery shopping ISN'T a punishment from God.

Although the blog will include our everyday happenings, I want to focus a lot of my blog energy on our struggles through infertility and the process that comes with IVF ICSI. Everything from initial diagnosis, meeting doctors, costs to conception. IVF and IVF ICSI are not for the faint of heart. Infertility comes with hundreds of questions, symptoms and diagnosis and if I can help at least one person better understand their situation or simply learn from my own, I would be happy! Brandon and I plan or start a brand new round of IVF ICSI in January with a brand new doctor in a semi-new state.  I plan to blog every step of the way! So check back often for updates and new information. Maybe we will walk this road together....maybe you aren't as alone in this journey as you thought!