Creative ways to make a baby

A friend of mine recently suggested I read the Fall 2010 edition of Conceive Magazine (yep..they have a magazine for it). She had read it while in the waiting room at the doctor's office and thought there was a story in there I could relate to.

In reality I feel like I can relate to the entire magazine. Although I was unaware of it's existence, the magazine is basically a tool for any woman thinking about having children, actively trying to have children, with children, or struggling with infertility. I qualify for each of those categories, if you count my dogs as children! And honestly, most women qualify for one or more of those categories.

During our process of "trying" to get pregnant I read every website or blog I could find regarding the matter. I learned what all the abbreviations stood for (TTC, BFN (knew this one all too well), BFP, DH, SA, AF, IVF ICSI, IUI,etc, etc). I went to babycenter.com, a helpful tool for women. This site helps to track all those lovely ovulation "patterns" and gives you every early pregnancy symptom you can imagine. They even have an open discussion section for women who are TTC- Trying to Conceive. In the beginning I went to this site often. I stayed glued to the early symptoms and other women's accounts of what did or did not happen to them early in the process.

I became very aware of what the struggle of TTC can do to a person. Not only did I see major changes in myself, but I read about these women who obsessed that every little twinge could possibly spell out pregnancy. Initially I thought they were crazy. I thought to myself..."When I get pregnant, I will know. It won't be a guessing game or a early symptom checker...it will be obvious". But, as time went on and we continued to be crushed by our BFN's, I, too, found myself praying each little thing might mean we got pregnant. Eventually I had to say goodbye to babycenter, vowing to not revisit until we were indeed pregnant (because they can tell you each week what you baby looks like and how it is developing..it's really awesome).

Anyway...(I really got off topic)- I read through this magazine and could relate to most stories. Women who are struggling to get pregnant. Women who feel like they are failing at something that is supposed to be fun and easy. Women who get naturally envious about others who are getting pregnant, then feel completely guilty and awful for feeling that way. Women fighting the anger and sadness of not getting pregnant, both openly and behind closed doors. And finally, families struggling to find the financial means to have the children they have wanted for so long.

The final story in the magazine was like reading about my own life. It was a couple who, after TTC for nearly two years, learned that IVF was their only option. Everything was the same, even the reason for infertility. I felt like I knew this woman just by reading 10 paragraphs about her life. I felt like I should pick up the phone and call her and say "I know. I know what you experienced. I'm sorry." When this family learned that IVF was their only option, they didn't sit around and cry about it (for very long). Instead, they started a website to share their story and struggles with others suffering from the same problems. They decided to take donations to fund their procedure. The goal was to get anyone who visited the website to donate $1 to their cause. They hoped to get 20,000 visitors who were willing to donate! After one year of receiving donations and saving money on their end, the couple was able to have the procedure! It was successful! And less than a year later, they welcomed a beautiful, healthy little girl! The best part about this story was it's happy ending.

Don't worry. We don't plan to ask for any donations from readers. For a few very simple reasons-
1). I only have about 5 readers (if that) and that would require a very substantial donation from each of you.
2). Most of my readers are my friends....and I already know where you stand financially, it might be best for you to hang on to that money! Haha!
3). Brandon and I are confident we will have what we need to get started early 2011.

I just thought it was really inspiring to see a couple be so creative with their situation. Sometimes it seems silly for me to be upset over this process and then I read stories like these. It is such a nice reminder that it's okay to be sad and and angry sometimes. And it's okay to sulk (a little). And even though I hate it more than anything right now, it's okay to have some envy. Best of all, it's okay to continue to dream and hope that things will work out for the best. I try to remind myself that it could be worse. We haven't been told "it's not possible" and I am thankful for this every day. I hope this time next year I will be writing about our happy ending. And maybe, someone else struggling with the same issue will find comfort in our story.