Are you sick of reading about my pregnancy in EVERY.SINGLE.BLOGPOST? Yeah....me too. Sorry. I guess it's all I really have to talk about right now, considering there is a giant human child growing inside of me. The good news is.....With this baby arriving any day now, this may be the last (or close to last) pregnancy post you have to read. If that is not enough to satisfy you....then, please, feel free to stop reading right now.
Now...some final comments on this pregnancy.......
I laugh at myself each morning for putting on my wedding band and engagement ring. Even while putting them on, I know they won't stay on my finger for more than an hour or two before my ring finger is turning a shade of blue and I am desperately trying to get them off. Every single day I have at least one moment of panic that I can't get the rings off my newly fattened sausage finger, you think I would learn to just not wear them. Swelling.....thanks so much!
I haven't dilated more than 1 cm in the past three weeks. I go back to the doctor tomorrow and am truly hoping for some good news. Please, please, please don't let me be that lady who has to be induced at 1 cm. This is my only true fear right now. Being naive is what has gotten me through this pregnancy.
I don't want to go past my due date, for many reasons....but the biggest reason is because I don't want to have to spend Thanksgiving in the hospital. How am I supposed to enjoy the smells of turkey, dressing, and homemade goodies from my mom when all I can really smell is antiseptic, cleaning products, and other gross hospital smells (and don't act like you don't know that hospitals smell funny). I have 9 days left where it can be about me.....and I want Thanksgiving at home.......yeah, I know....it's disgustingly selfish (and trust me, I feel really awful for saying it).
Sometimes in the middle of the night when I wake up to pee, for a moment I totally forget that I am pregnant. That moment fades the second I try to get out of bed. These days, I resort to a Roll/Shift/Pull method.....and that's just to get me sitting up on the edge of the bed. Actually getting out of the bed is a whole other method of it's own. If this pregnancy has taught me anything, it's that core strength truly IS as important as all those trainers have been telling us for years. Also....I don't ever want to be 30 pounds overweight (and not pregnant)....it's too much stress and strain on muscles and joints.
I attempted to paint my toenails last night. First off, I am shocked this didn't sent me into labor. Second, I am in desperate need of a pedicure. Every time I put on shoes with shoe laces I cuss because it's so freaking uncomfortable to get my feet close enough to pull off this maneuver. I also say a prayer that they don't come untied during the day and I back the prayer up with double (and sometimes triple) knotting. Shoe laces coming untied would be a complete disaster in my life right now.
I have some co-workers who ask me EVERY MORNING when I come to work "You are here? (yes...they phrase it like a question) So, you didn't have the baby yet?" I won't even go into the responses that run through my head with these questions. I will tell you, it takes everything inside of me to not be a total and complete smart ass. EVERYTHING.
Nothing warms my heart more than listening to Brandon tell me how excited he is to meet his daughter and how much he can't wait to see her and hold her in his arms. I know, already, that he will be an amazing father. He already loves his little girl so much! It gives me confidence and hope that together we will be good parents, even when we have NO clue as to what we are doing!
Having said that, Brandon is requesting that Josie arrive during the evening of Friday, November 18th. Apparently there is good stuff on TV that night and if she would be so inclined as to grant him this one itsy bitsy tiny favor, he feels as though the time in the hospital could be spent wisely with television programming, Football games, etc. I laugh every time he tells me this, but at the same time, I have a sinking feeling he may get his wish. Wouldn't that be nuts?
Sometimes I forget how lucky we are. Not only that we are getting ready to become a family of three, but that this has been such an easy, stress-free pregnancy. I forget that this child is our miracle. Too easily I forget that it can be incredibly rare to get pregnant the first go around with IVF ICSI! Sometimes I forget the year of pain, emotional and physical, that Brandon and I both endured to get here. Too often I forget that this could be our one chance at a biological child. Somewhere along the way we went from the couple struggling with infertility to your average, every day parents-to-be. I have to say, I prefer that latter. At some point we will have to go back to being that couple who struggles with infertility (if we want more children), but for now....we are soaking up the idea that we are no more than your typical, naive, scared, clueless, every-day, run of the mill, parents to be! And for once.....we are completely comfortable with each of those adjectives!!! Infertility can be your dark secret, but Brandon and I have felt good about sharing our struggles and concerns along the way. I truly hope that some how, in the end, the blog posts that focused more on what we were going through will help someone else in their struggle. I know just writing about it often helped me.
My final thoughts on this matter (for now)....Josie Noelle is our blessing. I get emotional and teary-eyed every time I think about the fact that we get to meet her in just a few short days. No amount of swelling or weight gain or pain will ever change the fact that we would do this a thousand times over if it meant we got to go through this journey again! Every year we add things to our list of all that we are thankful for.....this year, our list will grow by leaps and bounds! This year, our greatest gift and blessing will be meeting our daughter and finally telling her how long we have waited for her, and how much we love her!
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