My very first "baby"

About 2 months ago we learned that my sweet dog, Noah, had lymphoma.  I was a complete wreck when learning this news.  Noah has been an amazing dog since day 1.  He's smart, and strong, but totally gentle.  He's cuddly and a complete coward (most of the time)...but that's why I love him.  Once a leaf fell from a tree while we were at the park and it nearly scared the doggie pants off of him.  True story.

Noah has been by my side through good and bad, and like most good dogs, he has always been stubbornly loyal!  He may play fetch with any stranger, but don't be mistaken, he's a mama's boy through and through.  We have a bond I didn't know dogs and owners had, until I had a dog of my own.  I guess this is what has made this so hard.  I have to make decisions that are good for Noah, not for me.  Selfishly...I want to make the decision that mean I get more time with Noah. But, being a good doggie mama means sometimes making the toughest of choices...... and about 4 weeks ago we chose to stop his chemo treatments.  The vets initially told us we might have anywhere from 2-6 months with him before the cancer came back and made him sick again. 

Noah returned to the vet today as he had a rough week.  We think our time with this sweet and amazing dog might be drawing to a close.  I imagine we only have a matter of weeks and my heart breaks.  Obviously I never assumed it would be easy to say good bye, I just never imagined it would be so hard. 

Here are a few pictures of my very first baby!  The sweetest creature who initially taught me a little about responsibility!  I sure hope his journey to the rainbow bridge is pain free and peaceful!  And full of love!  I will certainly be meeting him there one day with a ball in hand! 

We love you, Noah.  I silently pray all the time you know that.  Josie thinks you are funny and laughs at you often.  You are so gentle with her...and I can tell you adore her!  You are loved...by all of us and basically all who have ever met you!  Thank you for being a good boy!  Always!

Update- The Crying Game

Oh My.....
As you may have read in my last post, we set out re-train Josie to sleep in her crib all night long.  My mind was set on the "cry it out" method.  So, Brandon and I put on our "tough love" pants and decided that Thursday night would be THE NIGHT our lives changed, at least in terms of sleep/exhaustion.

Night 1:
Dear Heavens......I had no idea my daughter could be as stubborn, hard headed and strong willed (I know...it's all redundant) as her father as this!  75 minutes.  75-stinking-minutes.  That is how long our kid cried, refusing to give in and fall asleep.  I can't tell you how many times we questioned the "cry it out" method or how many times I wanted to crack and pick her up and concede to her sleeping in our bed until she leaves for college. 

To put it bluntly, the first night was hell. Once she finally gave in and fell asleep, she was much easier to deal with the rest of the night.  She woke up a couple of times, but was able to self-soothe within only a couple of minutes.

Night 2:
I was dreading night 2.  She started crying when we went into the nursery for quiet time with a bottle and I just knew it was going to be a repeat of night 1.  Night 2 crying lasted all of about 4 minutes.  4-amazing minutes and she didn't wake up once until 5:30am.  Say hello to a full night's sleep!

Night 3:
Approximately 37 seconds of crying.  And OUT! 

I am not saying the "cry it out" method is right.  Especially not for everyone.  If you had asked me on the first night I would have warned you to stay away. Stay far, far away! And I am certainly not saying our issues are solved.  Night 2 and 3 Josie was exhausted, so I am certain that helped her fall asleep quickly.  I am sure we will continue to struggle with these routines and practices.  But, as of right now.......it works.  It's tough, it's sad and can be heartbreaking, but it works.  A rested (or semi-rested) mama is a much happier mama!

Who's the Boss?

She's 10 months old and totally running our house.  If Super Nanny was still a show, we would be the perfect candidates.  When that show first came out I would shake my head at these "so called parents" who just couldn't seem to grasp the simplest of routines and disciplinary actions with their children.  If the baby doesn't want to sleep in her crib, you let her cry it out, as hard as it may be, until she learns to self-soothe.  Duh, parents.
Ahemmm...

We "trained" Josie to self-soothe around 6 months of age.  By 8 months old she would wake up in the middle of the night, cry for a couple of moments, then drift peacefully back to sleep.  I wish I could say at 10 months old she was continuing those practices. 

Now you are about to hear every parent's story excuse........About a month ago she got sick.  She had that disgusting cough and running nose.  She would wake herself up at night because she was so congested and couldn't breath.  We put her in our bed to prop her up and hopefully open her airways.  It seemed like it took her FOREVER to get over the cold, and honestly, it was a long time.....nearly 2 1/2 weeks.  Trust me, 17 days is plenty of time to completely ruin any routine, even those you thought were ingrained into their DNA's. 

Once she got over the cold we set out to "re-train" Josie to self-soothe.  The first couple of nights were hard, but I felt like we were making progress (although slight).  Then, BAM.....the freaking disgusting stomach virus hit us and we scurried through nearly 5 straight days/nights of diarrhea.  Poor babe.  She might feel terrible during the day, but hey....she's sleeping like a champ at night....in our bed.  

Oh....how foolishly we bragged about how well our child slept through the night at 6, 7, and 8 months. FOOLS! We were sooooo naive!


Now, here we are, back to trying to let her cry it out.  Some nights I have no problem letting her cry for 5-10 minutes, but it kills her Daddy.  Some nights he wants to let her cry it out, but it breaks my heart.  I know we have to get on the same page and trust me, we understand that she is totally manipulating us with her cries.  But...holy cow...this SUCKS!  And she can go 6 straight minutes with the most dramatic cry you have heard from a 10 month old and not take a breath.  She's good.  Really good.  And we are weak....there...I said it!

Thankfully her terrible sleeping patterns don't effect her cuteness.  I KNOW.....huge sigh of relief, right?
Here are a couple of new pics!

The only thing cuter than a baby in a Bear's Jersey..... 

Is a baby in blue jeans, with her high top Converse!

Wish us luck as we head back into the baby hell trenches tonight to put this child to sleep.  I know one thing for sure, we won't make the mistake of letting the little booger in our bed next time around! 

Time Marches On......

She gets older every day. The same way we all do. But as she gets older she gains so much more than the normal wrinkles and grey hair adults dread. As she gets older she gains her independence and newly learned skills. Every day we inch closer to toddler-ville, leaving infant-land far behind. I am convinced we will be those unfortunate parents who have a child that walks at 9 months. And although we would be thrilled for our little pumpkin to transition from crawling to walking at a young-er than normal age, part of me has been secretly hoping she sticks with crawling for a bit longer.

Josie now sleeps through the night on a regular basis. This is not necessarily new to us or her, but what has changed is that we no longer feed her during the night. I am sure you are thinking “Well, duh, if she is sleeping through the night then you can’t feed her”. But what I am really saying is that even if she does wake up and cry out, we let her cry for a bit and put herself back to sleep (thank Heavens for self-soothing skills). This is opposed to me dragging from the bed to nurse her at the first sounds of stirring.

This is going to seem crazy to very new parents, but there is a huge part of my heart that hurts knowing I won’t be feeding her in the middle of the night anymore. In fact, I won’t be nursing her at all anymore. Eight months of breastfeeding and my body made that tough decision for me. I basically woke up one morning and the spigot had been turned off. This lifestyle that had so many times become my burden was over. And weirdly, it was heartbreaking for me.

There is truly something special about the bond of middle of the night feedings. Sure, there were some nights where I probably slept through half the feeding or mornings where I was so tired I swore I wouldn’t make it through another day. But I survived, as most parents do. There is something so comforting and sweet about a barely awake baby. For those brief moments, she was still and quiet, along with the rest of the house and the rest of the world. I could feel her breath and actually take in her sweet baby scent. This was that special time where I memorized every feature on her face and studied her sweet hands and feet down to every last detail. This was that special time where I told her I loved her a thousand times, but never actually spoke a word. This is time I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world.

Bottom line: I don’t ever want to forget those moments. The times I had with just Josie and I. Those are the sweet moments I want to remember so that when she is grown and experiencing her first baby I can say “Hang in there, honey. It only gets better.” And I will know with complete confidence that nothing could be truer!

First time parents with a first time fever

I had, in my head, an idea of how I had hoped Jo's first 4th of July would go.  It was something along the lines of baths, feedings and pj's complete, followed by a later than usual bedtime so we could sit in the drive way and watch the fireworks.  I was excited to see Jo's reaction to the fireworks, whether good or bad.  And naturally, I was excited to document her first 4th through photos and eventually a blog (ahem). 



Ahh...one can only dream of making their child's first 4th this memorable.

The older Jo gets the more we realize our "ideas" of how an evening or event should go may or may not go as planned.  There were a couple of things I really did not factor into my "plan" for Jo.  First....the wretched heat.  Wednesday was yet another triple digit day in East Tennessee.....yuck.  Second....fireworks generally don't start until after it gets dark, which means keeping Jo up past 9pm.  Which is nearly impossible.  Third......7 1/2 month olds probably don't really seem to care about fireworks (hmmm). 

Or, at least I assume 7 1/2 month olds don't really care about fireworks.  I really wouldn't know as we never even got close to finding out.  About 6pm on Wednesday evening Brandon and I noticed that Jo seemed to be pretty warm.  By 6:45 we checked her temperature and sure enough she had a fever. Although I did not realize that a baby isn't considered to have a fever until their temperature is above 100.5...so technically at 100.3 she didn't have a REAL fever.  But, don't go telling that to first time parents experiencing first time fevers/sicknesses.  You might as well have sounded the alarms in the Bice household.  How is it that parents who seem to stay fairly calm and collected 90 % of the time (at least we hope) can fall apart in a moment over something as simple as a low grade fever?  Although, I will say, in reality we stayed pretty cool......for the most part.  So our 4th of July ended with baby Tylenol, extra cuddles and an earlier than normal bedtime for Miss Josie.  As it turns out, our little sweet potato has her first ear infection.  Both Brandon and I agree that making it to nearly 8 months of age without any ear infections is pretty darn great for ANY daycare baby! 

On a brighter note....

Brandon and I are so excited to spend some time with his family soon!  His sisters and aunt/uncle/cousins have never met Jo and it will be so incredible to introduce her to all of them.  We also have a new niece we have never met!  We so look forward to this time with them!  It's hard to believe we haven't seen some of his family in two years!  Two years can seem like a lifetime when families are growing and changing so quickly.

This award says it all.....

Oh my gosh....This is so unexpected.  Such an honor!
I would like to accept this award on behalf of anyone still reading this blog (*chirp chirp...those are my cricket  noises).  First, I would like to thank the 6 1/2 month old child who consumes 99.9% of my free time.  Thanks, honey...LOVE You!  Next, my job!  Can't forget the reason I am away from my home and child all day everyday.  And finally (I am so taken aback by this beautiful award) writers block (*read......I am sure you don't want to ALWAYS read about my kid and I can't come up with anything else to write about)! 

That being said......

I can't believe it's already June!  Not only June, but nearly mid-June.  Next week our kiddo will be 7 months old.  What the heck?  She's pretty darn amazing and we are cherishing every day with her.  This past weekend she started crawling.  It was an awesome (yet sort of sad) sight.  She isn't a graceful crawler quite yet, she is still rocking the army crawl. But, the point is, she can get from destination A to destination B without any help or hesitation.  Which truly means she is into everything from the dog's toys to our entertainment center.  Guess it's time to put away those knives and firecrackers we normally leave laying around the house.  She loves to "walk" with assistance and I can't help but think she will be walking on her own long before her first birthday.  She has been eating baby cereal for a couple of months and is now also having baby food (either homemade with my trusty new baby food maker or the Stage 1 baby foods you buy in the store).  This weekend we plan to let her try "puffs".  Yet another milestone!

This blog isn't the only thing that has had to take a back seat to the baby.  Everything from the dogs to our yard work to our once thriving existing social life now play second fiddle to our little mobile bundle of joy.  I am not sure there is any true way to maintain pre-baby lifestyles once the little ones arrive.  You can try to keep your normal schedule, but let's be honest......life changes.  Things that you thought were so important before no longer make blips on your radar.  And the hobbies you once loved (blogging, running, drinking) can no longer be considered hobbies now as they are done with such infrequency. 

As our peanut grows, so will our sacrifices.  As a parent, I would sacrifice just about anything in the world to hear this child scream with excitement and watch her little body squirm across the floor to me.  I cannot think of any joy or hobby great than her!

But....here is my vow.....to myself and you (chirp chirp)

I vow to remain an individual and not just baby's mommy.   I will try to keep up with this blog more often.  And although most of my posts will be about our peanut (let's be honest...they will pretty much ALL be about her), I will try to do a better job of including posts about other subjects.  Although I will admit here and now, no other subject will be nearly as cute!

Winning the lottery, otherwise known as our Last Will and Testament

Brandon and I are currently in the process of putting together our Will.  Not sure why I even say "currently in the process", as there is hardly anything current about this process (other than the fact that I FINALLY made the appointment).  We have been talking about putting together a Will since we found out we were going to be parents.  And here we are, with a 6 month old (I KNOW...how is that possible?) and no Will. 

I told Brandon this week that it had to be in place before we leave for vacation next month.  God Forbid something terrible should happen to Brandon and I and our little peanut end up in the care of the state (I don't even know if that is how it works, but I would really rather not find out).  I have seen movies about little red-headed orphans.  And although those kids sure can carry a tune and organize themselves quite nicely, I don't think we want Jo meeting any "Miss Hannigans" anytime soon.  Although I will say if there is a Daddy Warbucks anywhere in her future, hopefully it will be her biologically Daddy (fingers crossed....LOL). 

Thinking about who you want to raise your children should you ever die in a freak accident is slightly depressing.  Also...it's not easy.  Thankfully we are NOT in a situation of picking the lesser of two evils (or maybe I am just saying this because one of you is going to end up with our child(ren) and I am desperate to kiss up to you now, so that you don't turn our sweet peanut(s) into your house maids).  But, in all reality this choice has been hard for Brandon and I, but we both take comfort in knowing that any of the people we have to choose from are responsible, loving, wonderful people and would make great caregivers of Jo (again with the kissing up).  I can only imagine the stress that comes to those who don't have good family members/friends to fall back on.  I bet in those instances Miss Hannigan looks more and more like a nice lady!
 
Do people put dogs in wills?  I know some lunatics leave all their money to their dogs, but what does a millionaire dog do with no owners?  I suppose the least of my worries should be our dogs (especially if Jo ends up where she is supposed to be) but I can't help but wonder where they could go?  Not many people are equipped to take on two full grown (and lovable) pit bulls.  I almost feel like we should lump them together like a package deal.  For instance "Hey...the good news is we have decided we want you to get Jo if anything terrible should happen to us.  The even better news is when you buy one baby, you get two dogs for free! Yay. Good luck with that!"  Or maybe we should leave the child(ren) to one family and the dogs to another?  Wouldn't that be a slap in the face.  "So, we decided NOT to leave you the kid(s), but good news, you get the dogs! Good luck with that!"

So, basically someone in our family is about to win the potential baby/dog lottery.  Although, since the prize for this lottery is so wonderful (naturally, what with it being our baby and our dogs) we may not be releasing the name of the winner.  This would be in an attempt to ensure no freak accidents occur (I am watching my back).  In all seriousness, I am relieved that we are finally going to take care of our Will situation and I know it will give me some peace for the future.  If you do not already have a Will in place or you have not thought about one and you are a parent, you should truly start thinking.  Even if you just write down some thoughts on a napkin and get it notarized or have someone other than yourself sign it (I really don't know if this is correct, you should probably look into it more than just following my lazily non-researched directions), that has to be better than having nothing at all, right?


And now, as part of the contract of my motherly duties, I have to share this video with you.  But first, allow me to give you the back story.....

I had been taking video of Jo when Dixie, our female dog, hit my hand and the camera phone.  This made the flash come on.  I tried to start a new video, one WITHOUT the interruption of our dog when I realized the flash was on.  As you will see in this video.....turning the flash off was my biggest concern....

As you can tell...she was FINE and not phased by the little spill.  For whatever reason I can NOT stop laughing at this video.  I find it hilarious.  Does that make me a bad mommy?  I sure hope not! If we can't laugh at our own children then why do we have babies to begin with?