Learning to be grateful (slowly)......

The year 2010 hasn't exactly been kind to Brandon and I. I can't seem to recall another year where I have been thrilled to see the end, and even more excited to begin a new year. To put it bluntly, 2010 has been crappy. Although, if this is the toughest of years to come for Brandon and I, we will be incredibly lucky.

This year we dealt with and faced obstacles we were not expecting. Obviously (because I talk about it every few posts) we learned our fates in infertility. And of course, when you find out about infertility, you don't find out in one appointment (at least we didn't). You have to go through a series of appointments here with this doctor, and some there with that doctor, and you have to run tests and give samples and yada yada. No need to give you too many details. My point is, this wasn't something we learned early on in 2010. It was a crumby lesson we learned MORE AND MORE about as the year went on.

In March Brandon had his Lasik surgery. He was so pumped about it...and nervous! We thought this surgery was going to help make his life easier. Brandon is one of the few people whose surgery didn't go as planned. After Lasik, Brandon had irritation and infection in his corneas. After several rounds of medications, Brandon continued to experience blurry vision. Once the inflammation cleared up (months later), it was discovered that Brandon's surgery was done at the wrong prescription. Which, of course (unless Brandon wanted to go through life with bad vision- the thing we had hoped to solve) meant he would have to re-do the surgery.

Something I have had to learn recently (although not yet learned how to fully apply to my life) is that you have to find a way to be grateful even when things are not going the way you had planned. It is easy to be thankful when your life is going great, but seems so much harder when things are not going well.

We can't get pregnant on our own. Some days I get emotional just typing that sentence, so don't even ask me to say it out loud. But, I am thankful. I am thankful to be with a man who I know is the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. And I am thankful for how much stronger it has made our relationship and how much it has taught us about ourselves, patience, and love.

Brandon's eyes were messed up for many many months after his Lasik surgery. It became a stressful situation that quickly wore the both of us down. It was hard for me to see my husband, who is usually the happy-go-lucky guy, go through this alone (physically), as there was nothing I could do to help. Thankfully, in the end, Brandon's Lasik (the second time) was a success. Brandon has very few problems with his eyes now. And although it was a tough time for him and very stressful for the both of us, I am grateful for the growth it brought us, as a couple.

We are learning (even if slowly), that there are always reasons to be grateful- sometimes you just have to search a little harder. If we can teach ourselves to give thanks, in all circumstances (no matter what), we might actually get through this year...together, alive, and happy. Thank you 2010, for making us stronger and allowing us to grow together as husband and wife. Now please end...and bring on 2011!