The Push Gift......

Well....first and foremost, you may have noticed I added a little something to my blog. Go ahead, take a moment and look around and see if you notice it. I'll wait.
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If you didn't notice (or maybe you did) I added this little gadget at the top right that shows what it would look like if baby Josie was in outer space! So cool. She makes a pretty darn cute astronaut, don't you think? I wanted to add one of these do dads a while ago, but was really waiting for Josie to get cuter. When the baby looks like it's part alien, with the giant mis-shapen head that is totally out of proportion to its body, I would rather not show her off! Now...cute as a button! Enjoy!

Okay...now on to my real reason for this post....
The Push Gift

Have you guys heard of this? I find it hysterical, yet fascinating (only because I might get a new toy or something cool out of it). But...apparently in recent years the idea of providing a new mom with a "present or gift" has become popular in the United States. I am too lazy to do research, but I imagine this didn't start in the US (although it would make perfect sense, considering how freaking materialistic we are). I would also imagine the concept of the gift was not to give new mommy a new iphone or diamond bracelet (although I wouldn't complain).

Regardless of where it started, or why it started, Push Gifts are quite popular these days. Which works out well for me, since I will be pushing soon enough. In reality, having a baby should be present enough. If the hubby wants to give me a real gift, maybe he could take over the 1am and 5am wake-up feeding calls! But, I know that won't happen.

And although the entire idea of getting a gift for birthing a baby (which, by the way, is going to happen whether I push or not) seems crazy....I, of course, will accept anything that may be given to me! I will be especially excited to accept jewelry with or without diamonds, electronic gadgets or toys, and cash! Yep, I said it, cash! Nothing says "Thanks for all you did to have my baby" like a big wad of cash! So....If you see my husband (or any soon-to-be father), share this knowledge....a new mommy will certainly thank you!!

So much stuff......Is this normal?

I am starting to feel a tad bit overwhelmed by all there is to do with this whole "having a baby" business.

Here is a breakdown of the things that will likely drive me to insanity in the coming weeks....

First and foremost: the inevitable is approaching. I had sort of thought that if I didn't think about actually having to give birth to a child, it wouldn't actually happen. Like the saddest form of denial. Maybe if I don't think about it, it won't be a big deal. Right, because I am sure those who just pretend it's not happening don't find themselves the least bit stressed out in the delivery room. But....my body is growing rapidly and what was once a baby baby bump now resembles a beach ball, all spelling impending doom for my lady bits....as this giant child will eventually have to come out of me...ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

And believe it or not....this is the least of my worries (at least for now).

Second stress: Breastfeeding. I have every intention of breastfeeding Baby Josie. I know breastfeeding isn't easy. I have friends who have, thankfully, been completely honest with me about what to expect. I assumed it would be hard as hell, but after several weeks it would (eventually) be worth it. There is no part of me that actually believes baby and I will be pros at it right away and it won't ever hurt. Thankfully I am not that naive! BUT....

Then someone suggested I buy a couple of books. Dang it....reading has NEVER lead to anything good. I started reading yesterday and let me just tell you what I learned from this freaking book so far....
*1. Breastfeeding should be easy for new moms, all I have to do is have skin-to-skin contact immediately after giving birth and then miraculously my new baby will latch right on (hmm...right?)
*2. The only tool you really need for breastfeeding (other than breasts, obviously) is confidence! (OH Great! Because this book has done a FINE job of shaking my confidence. Now I am ruined.)
*3. Don't be afraid to breastfeed in public. People don't really mind and they really can't see that much of your boob, so don't worry about covering up. (HA! Oh my)
*4. Not breastfeeding isn't the end of the world, it simply means you are a terrible mom and your child will grow up to resent you and probably rob a bank.

This is why I haven't read any birthing/parenting/breastfeeding books thus far. Ignorance is bliss (as is denial). This book has me freaked out. And obviously I am being overly dramatic (obviously) because I can be...this is my blog and I am pregnant...so back off.

And finally...my last stress (which is actually two stresses in one...a mega stress): Baby Crap. Not baby poop (although I am sure that will be a real joy), but this insane push from society for new parents to own every little tinker or trinket for your infant child. I am NOT registering for a pack-n-play, please please please stop shaking your head at me and giving me dirty looks that say "You are a failure as a mother, already". For starters, our house is not large and we don't have a ton of space for kiddie toys what with the meth lab and all (we don't make meth, mom, I promise). But seriously, how much of an affect do you think NOT having a pack-n-play will actually have on my child in the long run, be honest.

In fact, had it not been for our amazing neighbor who gave us all sorts of cool stuff her daughter had, poor Josie would have been totally without and probably suffering.

The truth is, we don't have a big house and the nursery is the smallest room of all. Which leads to the second half of my megastresser.....I think I am starting to nest already (is it too early??? it sure seems like this is happening too early. maybe I should buy a book about it). I want her nursery clean. I want all the baby stuff figured out and decluttered (which I recognize is not a word) and I want all the other junk boxed and put in the attic (my poor husband...I know what he will probably be doing this weekend). Unfortunately I know if I get it cleaned and figured out now, it will only be in chaos again in a month after a baby shower. But, not at least seeing a form of the final product on her nursery is driving me nuts. It's like a little gnat that won't stop buzzing my ear.

I don't handle stress all that well (if you hadn't figured that out) and I am just hoping and praying that these are normal, pregnancy, first time mom stresses. Otherwise, poor Josie may be in for a bumpy ride!

*The book didn't actually say these things quite like this. I am sure it will be really helpful in the end (hopefully).*

Our little monkey....

Yesterday I had an ultrasound at my 22 week doctor's appointment. Baby Josie's heart looks good and strong. The doctors seemed very happy with all her valves and veins, she received an A+! She is such an overachiever already!

Josie is currently (not)tipping the scales at a whooping 1 pound, exactly. She is measuring a day or two ahead of where she needs to be (again, what an overachiever). And the best news of all.....Her head is NOT the size of a cantaloupe, as I had expected. Apparently....she has a normal sized head (as of now) and all of her measurements were right where they need to be. I fear, knowing her Daddy and myself, Josie may have a giant globe like head that I am expected to push out of my body. Her Daddy and I both seem to be large in the head department, so trust me...it's a valid fear. But...so far so good!

I have attached two ultrasound photos of Miss Josie! Sorry they are somewhat poor quality. I took a photo (with my phone) of the ultrasound pics, so it's a photo of a photo. Yeah...I am that hi-tech.

The first picture is just Josie's sweet profile (and normal sized head). The second is my favorite. Those are her little feet up by her head! Right now she is folded like a little taco, with her feet positioned up by her head (such an overachieving future gymnast)!





It's amazing how much we love this little monkey already!

The Little Couple = Huge Impact

I watch too much TV. That would be apparent if you lived with me for one evening. Since you don't live with me, this may become apparent to you after reading this post.

That being said....

I freaking love this show!!!



Actually, to be honest, I love this lady...



(OMG I hate how tiny these pictures are, even when you click on them, but I am too lazy to search for more....sorry)

Nothing against the show (because I love it) or Bill (the sweet hubby), but Jen is a freaking ROCKSTAR! This lady appears to have more drive and determination than most people I know, put together. We all face obstacles in our lives. It's inevitable to meet resistance in one endeavor or more along the way. I imagine, being a little person, Jen has met more resistance than most. I guess the thing I admire most about her is that she does not appear to have ever let her obstacles slow her down. She seems to be an amazing doctor with exactly the right amount of compassion and care. She never complains (at least not on the show) or makes excuses....I know so many people who could learn a lesson or two from her.

I guess I feel like I have a little connection to Jen (in my own weird way). She, too, has had to undergo fertility drugs, shots, and the dreaded (for me) egg retrieval. As I watched last nights episode of Jen's most recent egg retrieval, I could not help but go back to my own experiences. I practically held my breath waiting to learn if any of her eggs were retrieved, then fertilized. I remember, so vividly (mostly because it was just recently) the days of multiple ultrasounds. The days of "are there enough eggs in my ovaries", "are there too many eggs in my ovaries" and of course, the retrieval. Which was painful, both emotionally and physically. I recall waiting to learn how many eggs were retrieved and waiting so nervously to hear if any had fertilized.

Last night's episode was a reminder at what a miracle modern medicine can be. It was also a reminder that there is no guarantee with IVF. You can take all the medicine they advise, endure all the shots, and pay all the money...but in the end you get no guarantee. All you are left with is the faith and hope that things work out the way you wish. Thankfully, Jen and Bill were able to retrieve two more eggs (to add to the one they got from a previous retrieval) and make another embryo (to add to the first one). They now have two embryos! A potential start to their potentially wonderful family!

Just in the past few days I have started to feel Josie's kicks and movements. She is finally strong enough that I know, with out a doubt, that those feelings are indeed kicks and not muscle spasms (or gas...kidding). These kicks are a daily reminder of our personal miracle. Just as I thought, the journey we took to get to Josie has become a distant memory. We celebrate daily the little life within me, but don't reflect on how we got here as often as we probably should. I hope in the near future Jen and Bill are celebrating their growing baby too. I pray, they too, will look back at their journey as a distant memory of where they started....and although they will use a surrogate carrier, I hope the kicks and movements and growing belly will soon be a part of their daily celebrations! Wishing all the luck to this sweet couple.

And if you haven't ever watched this show, take 30 minutes and watch an episode! I guarantee within that half hour you are impressed by the positive attitude and determination of this couple. If you are not....you might be a Communist (which of course you are unlikely to 'fess up to....so whatever...I mean, you're a communist, so why would I even care what you think?).

Mean Bird

Last night Dixie was being harassed by a bird in our backyard. It was hilarious! Naturally Dixie tried to run inside when the bird went after her. I wanted to put the dogs outside as much as possible last night to see if it would happen again, but Brandon wouldn't let me.

It was very similar to this video (although this is not my dog) and same kind of bird....



This morning as I was getting ready for work I noticed the bird flew up onto our deck. Seconds later Noah came charging onto the deck and ran right to where the bird had been perched. I can only assume he had a little run in with the bird this morning too! Totally made my morning! Is that bad of me?

I may never understand.....

I rarely find myself speechless. Whether it be serious or smart aleck (sp?), I almost always have something to say.

This woman.....



....and the outcome of her recent trial have left me speechless. Most people are well aware of who Casey Anthony is and what she was being tried for. Most of us have our own opinions on what may or may not have happened, and most of us decided long before her trial even began if she was guilty or not guilty.

I continue to try to believe that if a jury of her peers (people just like you and I) could not find enough proof or evidence to conclude that she was guilty of the murder of her sweet child, maybe (just maybe) she in fact is not the responsible party. Although not having enough evidence to convict and actually being guilty of that crime can many times be two VERY separate things.

I have to think the jurors are sick over letting this clearly psychopathic woman walk free. I have to think this is NOT the choice they wanted. But...if you can't prove something, you can't convict, right? And now, even if all the evidence in the world pops up, we could never try this lunatic for the murder of her daughter again (although I am sure they could come up with some new creative charge). If she is not guilty, I just can't figure out what the hell she was doing for those 31 days before she reported Caylee missing.

In the end, my heart goes out to the family and loved ones who lost a perfect, healthy, bright, and beautiful little girl. My heart goes out to the jurors, who had to set free a woman they most likely felt was guilty. I can only imagine how difficult and haunting that must have been. And my heart goes out the the Anthony family....whose name has been dragged through more mud during this trial. Casey Anthony may be free (as of next week), but she, like the rest of us, will one day have to meet her maker. One day she will have to answer for the actions she has taken and I have to assume, if she is guilty, that judgement won't be so light.

I hope Caylee Anthony can rest in peace.