So much stuff......Is this normal?

I am starting to feel a tad bit overwhelmed by all there is to do with this whole "having a baby" business.

Here is a breakdown of the things that will likely drive me to insanity in the coming weeks....

First and foremost: the inevitable is approaching. I had sort of thought that if I didn't think about actually having to give birth to a child, it wouldn't actually happen. Like the saddest form of denial. Maybe if I don't think about it, it won't be a big deal. Right, because I am sure those who just pretend it's not happening don't find themselves the least bit stressed out in the delivery room. But....my body is growing rapidly and what was once a baby baby bump now resembles a beach ball, all spelling impending doom for my lady bits....as this giant child will eventually have to come out of me...ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

And believe it or not....this is the least of my worries (at least for now).

Second stress: Breastfeeding. I have every intention of breastfeeding Baby Josie. I know breastfeeding isn't easy. I have friends who have, thankfully, been completely honest with me about what to expect. I assumed it would be hard as hell, but after several weeks it would (eventually) be worth it. There is no part of me that actually believes baby and I will be pros at it right away and it won't ever hurt. Thankfully I am not that naive! BUT....

Then someone suggested I buy a couple of books. Dang it....reading has NEVER lead to anything good. I started reading yesterday and let me just tell you what I learned from this freaking book so far....
*1. Breastfeeding should be easy for new moms, all I have to do is have skin-to-skin contact immediately after giving birth and then miraculously my new baby will latch right on (hmm...right?)
*2. The only tool you really need for breastfeeding (other than breasts, obviously) is confidence! (OH Great! Because this book has done a FINE job of shaking my confidence. Now I am ruined.)
*3. Don't be afraid to breastfeed in public. People don't really mind and they really can't see that much of your boob, so don't worry about covering up. (HA! Oh my)
*4. Not breastfeeding isn't the end of the world, it simply means you are a terrible mom and your child will grow up to resent you and probably rob a bank.

This is why I haven't read any birthing/parenting/breastfeeding books thus far. Ignorance is bliss (as is denial). This book has me freaked out. And obviously I am being overly dramatic (obviously) because I can be...this is my blog and I am pregnant...so back off.

And finally...my last stress (which is actually two stresses in one...a mega stress): Baby Crap. Not baby poop (although I am sure that will be a real joy), but this insane push from society for new parents to own every little tinker or trinket for your infant child. I am NOT registering for a pack-n-play, please please please stop shaking your head at me and giving me dirty looks that say "You are a failure as a mother, already". For starters, our house is not large and we don't have a ton of space for kiddie toys what with the meth lab and all (we don't make meth, mom, I promise). But seriously, how much of an affect do you think NOT having a pack-n-play will actually have on my child in the long run, be honest.

In fact, had it not been for our amazing neighbor who gave us all sorts of cool stuff her daughter had, poor Josie would have been totally without and probably suffering.

The truth is, we don't have a big house and the nursery is the smallest room of all. Which leads to the second half of my megastresser.....I think I am starting to nest already (is it too early??? it sure seems like this is happening too early. maybe I should buy a book about it). I want her nursery clean. I want all the baby stuff figured out and decluttered (which I recognize is not a word) and I want all the other junk boxed and put in the attic (my poor husband...I know what he will probably be doing this weekend). Unfortunately I know if I get it cleaned and figured out now, it will only be in chaos again in a month after a baby shower. But, not at least seeing a form of the final product on her nursery is driving me nuts. It's like a little gnat that won't stop buzzing my ear.

I don't handle stress all that well (if you hadn't figured that out) and I am just hoping and praying that these are normal, pregnancy, first time mom stresses. Otherwise, poor Josie may be in for a bumpy ride!

*The book didn't actually say these things quite like this. I am sure it will be really helpful in the end (hopefully).*