You should know.....

Dear Sweet little girl,

You already have your daddy wrapped around your pinky finger. 

My hope for you, is that one day you realize just how lucky you are to have a Daddy who loves you so much. 



Dec 2012- Downtown Christmas Parade

This year's holiday was a little different than normal.  Since we went home to Chicago to be with the Bice Family for Thanksgiving, I did not take as much time off as I normally might at Christmas.  And this year, Daddy took off more time than normal.  Since your school was closed for the entire week of Christmas, it was a good thing Daddy took the time off.  And so you and Daddy have been at home playing each day while Mommy has been at work.  It hurts my heart just a little to know of all the fun you are both having while I sit behind my desk.  But, it lights my heart to think of the bonding and love that must be growing between the two of you (like it could grow anymore) each day!

Today is Daddy's last day home with you.  And although I know he must value this time, I think he may be happy to know your school doors will be open on Wednesday morning. 

I just received this text message from your Daddy-
Daddy-I have read the same 3 books about 900 times today.
Mommy- Hahahaha.  Hide them.
Daddy- I hate the ABC and Color book

It always amazes me how you seem to find these two books amongst the hundreds (truthfully) that you own.  It's like they have a special scent that only you can smell.  And you find them.  And ask us to read them to you over and over and over.  And my goodness, maybe we could say no if you were the cutest thing in the world.  But you are.  And so we read them.  By memory.

You are a lucky little girl.  So much so that no matter how much your Daddy hates it, he will still read the ABC and Color book to you each and every time you ask.  I will not be surprised if when I get home from work today, Daddy is teaching you that the Penguin begins with the letter P! 

We love you pumpkin pie!

Collectively broken

My heart, along with millions of others, ached last Friday as the details of a heinous and senseless crime were being reported.  We all, collectively, searched for answers as to why any single person could take the lives of so many innocent children.  Many of us prayed, saying prayers for family and friends and teachers and first responders and of course those tiny souls.  We watched, political views aside for once, as our President spoke with shaky voice.  We cried....all of us, together, just thinking of this town and how they would have to pick themselves up. 

Even today I have a hard time discussing this without being emotional.  My husband and I made the decision on Sunday that we would not watch any more news regarding Newtown, CT.  There is a part of me that feels guilty for not knowing more about the victims, but I know this is the right choice for our home.  Our nation needs to heal.  I am praying, often, for these families.  Our thoughts are with them each morning that we wake Josie up for school.  Each day that we leave her, I cannot help but wonder what those parents must be feeling.  Each afternoon she is picked up, I am thankful. 

Our hearts are broken and our heads are confused.  Our prayers are for peace and comfort and healing.  I wish we could do more, but we do not know how.  We will never forget what happened last Friday and our nation needs to find away to prevent it from happening again.  The only thing we can do, now, is offer kindness.  Be kind to one another.  Love your neighbor.  Love your family.  Be patient.  Be faithful and respectful.  Recognize the value of another person's life and your own.  Be thankful.  Be worthy of living...because somehow, we are here, yet 20 sweet, innocent, young souls are not.  And it makes no sense.  And it never will.

Last Friday, I could not get to her fast enough. It did not matter how fast I replied to the emails. How quickly I returned the calls. It was not a matter of what time I left the building and drove out of the parking lot. None of that mattered. The actual time of my eventual arrive was irrelevant, as no matter what time I arrived, it would not be soon enough.  As I pulled into the parking lot I witnessed a mother embracing her daughter, the same way I had wanted to hug my child all day long.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing me another day to love my child.  I know I shared that same prayer with that mom last Friday, along with so many other parents.  I cannot say it enough....Thank You, Lord. 

A new kind of Christmas!

I look forward to teaching Josie the true meaning of Christmas as she gets older.  I look forward to telling her the story of Jesus's birth and having her be a part of mid-night Christmas services.  Feeling that special spirit of wishing a Merry Christmas to friends right after midnight, while singing in candle light outside!  Obviously I have fond memories of Christmas growing up!  I remember being in awe of the story of Jesus's birth and the events leading up to it (and still am).  I look forward to making special memories just like these with Josie, and adding in our own traditions as we go! 

I also look forward to making FAMILY a huge part of Christmas!  I want Josie to know that Christmas and family go hand-in-hand.  And naturally, we look forward to doing the fun, more contemporary things surrounding Christmas too, like Santa and Elf-on-a-Shelf and watching Frosty the Snowman and singing silly children's carols! 

 Brandon and I decided years ago that we didn't need much for Christmas, in terms of gifts.  The things we needed, we got.  So the exchanging of gifts between the two of us has become less important.  As a child, climbing out of bed and running downstairs to see what Santa (or even Mom and Dad) had left was so exciting.  As I grew older, I was more excited to witness Christmas through my nieces' and nephews' eyes.  This year I am so excited for Christmas morning!  Not for any gifts Brandon and I might receive, but to see Josie as she sees her new gifts.  I have that giddy feeling welling up inside....I cannot wait to be a part of Josie's Christmas morning.  Even now, she is too young to really understand what's going on, and for that reason, we are only getting her a few items.  But, I still can't wait to see her little face when she sits on her monkey rocking chair or gets to enjoy her new stuff.  It's so fun.......and exciting! 

The point of this entire blog could have easily been summed up in only a sentence or two, but as usual, I have become long winded.  So here it is.....

Experiencing "Christmas as a parent" will be the new and exciting Christmas for me!  Seeing the excitement and joy on Josie's face is going to be even better than any gift I could have ever asked for!  And I truly believe it will only get better as she gets older and we add our own family traditions! 

Now...a couple of pictures!  I was so excited to take Josie to see Santa this year!  I just knew I would get that crying baby in Santa's lap shot!  While we waited in line, Josie laughed and waved at Santa!  Each time he would look up at her she would squeal with delight! But, the second I placed that child on Santa's lap, everything went downhill....quickly.  Here is a picture of Josie and Santa!  It amazes me that she still looks cute even though she is crying! 

This little Christmas dress was made by Jo's Aunt Bug!  It's so freaking cute I can hardly stand it.  Obviously we would like to get some more pictures of Josie in this adorable outfit.  Maybe one where she is actually smiling!  Here is another picture, just to show off how cute this outfit really is!  Sorry it doesn't show her face, Aunt Bug!

Oh my gosh...so cute!  Our tiny little Santa's helper!  This little tiny lady is by far the greatest gift her Mommy and Daddy could have ever received! 

Ahhh....I do love this time of year! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year!!



Hair Hair everywhere

I find it hilarious that my 12 month old toddler has more hair than most 5 year olds.  She was born with a head full of hair and it has grown and grown and grown.  We were rocking some pigtails by 5 months of age and a full pony tail by 8 months.  Most kids don't have that kind of hair....but our Jo is EXTRAordinary!

This morning I bribed her to stay still with a biscuit while I recreated a cute hair style her Nannie did while we were home for Thanksgiving!  It doesn't look nearly as cute as her Nannie's, but I tried.  So...maybe an A- or B+ for effort!  While we were home for Thanksgiving Nannie and I gave Jo's hair the slightest of trims...just to even things up a bit.  You would never have known and it looks much healthier!

(Don't mind the scissors there on the table within arms reach of the 12 month old.  Ha!)

She looks like such a big girl with her hair done in braids (sorry I don't have a picture of the front....but trust me...it's cute).  All this hair and the pretty auburn color gets the kid a lot of attention, but she carries it well!  We sure do love this munchkin!  Now...I just need someone to have the patience to teach me other ways to do her hair...and her to have the patience to sit still while I do it!  If I have to bribe her with a biscuit each time, we might be in trouble!  Have a happy Monday!

Oh, November

Oy vey....

November has been a forever long month packed FULL of lifetime changes.  So much has happened this month I hardly know where to begin.

For starters (naturally)....our little peanut pumpkin turned one.  *tear*

Have some, Daddy!

Hahaa...I love this picture.  Girl loves her cake, just like her mama!

Her birthday was so special!  I spent much of the days leading up to her birthday reminiscing about those final days before she arrived and how anxious and scared and excited we were! Thinking about how I felt the day my water broke and recalling her labor!   Remembering how it felt to be pregnant, which....by the way...I truly miss!  Everything about this past year has been incredible!  Her daddy and I say on a daily basis how lucky we are to be her parents.  She is such a good little girl with a great disposition!  We are, without a doubt, blessed!

During the month of November our little one has perfected the art of walking.  She still has her wobbly moments and relies heavily on crawling, but she is capable of walking (not that neither her Nannie or Nana ever allow her tiny feet to touch the ground).  Our little lady also said a very final and happy (for Mommy and Daddy's wallet) good-bye to formula!  We are strictly whole milk!  Now...if we could just get her used to drinking her milk out of a sippy cup! 

This year we spent Thanksgiving with Brandon's folks up near Chicago.  We had a wonderful trip and tried to soak in as much Nannie and Papi time as possible.  Wednesday through Saturday morning Josie had her Nannie and Papi all to her self....and it was fantastic (although we missed the rest of the family)!  On Thanksgiving, Nannie made a delicious meal that we ALL enjoyed, even Jo.

Nannie gave her a little plate, piled high with stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, turkey, green beans and sweet potatoes.  Josie used her spoon and fed herself, then moved onto the more age appropriate- shoving handfuls of food in her mouth.  She loved it.  I swear every time I turned around last week she was eating.  I guarantee she gained a pound in the 4 days we were in IL.  For a little girl who barely broke 19 pounds by her first birthday....that's a lot of weight in only a few days! 

And finally (I won't touch on this long) earlier this month we had to say good-bye to our sweet dog, Noah.  He was the most amazing dog.  Loyal, gentle, smart (sooo smart), sweet and funny.  If any dog EVER had personality, it was Noah.  It was tough to say good-bye and let go, but it was the very best thing for him.  He will be missed (and is missed daily).  Until I see him again.....No dog could ever compare...and I am glad!  We love you, Noah. 

I am currently working on getting our house ready for Christmas.  We will be doing lots of decorating this year.  I am looking forward to taking Josie to see Santa (which I am certain will end in tears).  We are so excited for the holidays!  So much to do!  Brandon's family will be in town for Christmas!  We will all be together and although I know it will be CRAZY CHAOTIC, it will also be so much fun. 

Parental learning curve....

I hate to say it, but up until this point Brandon and I have really prided ourselves in not being overly paranoid parents.  We don't jump up and make doctor appointments every time our peanut sneezes.  Even on the two occasions she has ended up with the stomach virus, we both recognized there was nothing the doctor could do for her, we had to wait it out, and making an appointment was just a huge waste of time.  It's a bit of a pet peeve of mine to see or hear parents who take their kids to the doctor over the silliest and simplest of things.  But, whose to say what is "silly" or "simple".  I thought I knew.....until this week.

This past weekend Josie started running a low grade fever.  She was a little whiny, but no major symptoms, other than the cold she's been living with for the past few months (daycare babies and winter don't mix well).  We knew a stomach bug was going around her school, so we just assumed she was fighting something off.  Monday morning we dropped her at school and by 10am I received a phone call from her teacher. She was pretty sure Jo had the stomach funk.  And sure enough, by lunch time I had to go pick her up.  No big deal right....it's the stomach funk and there isn't much we can do about it other than wait for it to pass through her body.  In my mind, that explained the low grade fever. 

By Tuesday morning Jo's cold turned into a pretty rough cough.  By Tuesday afternoon I was a little concerned about the cough and decided to make an appointment. Not 30 minutes after making her appointment the school called a said a kid in her class had RSV. 

So, there we were, Tuesday afternoon in the doctor's office.  Not for the stomach bug that was running my kid ragged, but for a cough.  It should be noted that I didn't think I would ever be that parent.  Taking her kid to the doc for a cough.  It's a cough.  Man am I glad we took her in.  Our little peanut was pretty sick. I know, because that was what the doctor kept saying..."She's pretty sick".  Positive for RSV, stomach bug, double ear infections, oh...and a small touch of viral pneumonia. 

I guess the point of my blog is.....
There must be a HUGE learning curve on children's illnesses for first time parents.  I pray that is the case and we aren't just total dummies.  Maybe there is a "Parenting for Dummies" book we can buy?  Oh great....apparently there is. 

Who am I kidding? I won't read that book.

Being proud of ourselves for not running to the doctor with each sneeze was working out great, until our kid ended up with a laundry list of illnesses and us with nothing more than our stupid pride.  I am not saying we will call the doctor at the first sign of snot from this point forward, and we certainly will NOT be investing in industrial rolls of bubble wrap, but we will try to be more aware of how her "not feeling well" might be more than a simple cold. 

Needless to say, our sick peanut did not get to do the door-to-door Trick-or-Treating we had planned.  Instead we took her out, to one house, then had her back in her pj's in the warm house.  Below is one of only a few pictures of her in her lamb costume!  She's pretty cute, even when she's sick!

My very first "baby"

About 2 months ago we learned that my sweet dog, Noah, had lymphoma.  I was a complete wreck when learning this news.  Noah has been an amazing dog since day 1.  He's smart, and strong, but totally gentle.  He's cuddly and a complete coward (most of the time)...but that's why I love him.  Once a leaf fell from a tree while we were at the park and it nearly scared the doggie pants off of him.  True story.

Noah has been by my side through good and bad, and like most good dogs, he has always been stubbornly loyal!  He may play fetch with any stranger, but don't be mistaken, he's a mama's boy through and through.  We have a bond I didn't know dogs and owners had, until I had a dog of my own.  I guess this is what has made this so hard.  I have to make decisions that are good for Noah, not for me.  Selfishly...I want to make the decision that mean I get more time with Noah. But, being a good doggie mama means sometimes making the toughest of choices...... and about 4 weeks ago we chose to stop his chemo treatments.  The vets initially told us we might have anywhere from 2-6 months with him before the cancer came back and made him sick again. 

Noah returned to the vet today as he had a rough week.  We think our time with this sweet and amazing dog might be drawing to a close.  I imagine we only have a matter of weeks and my heart breaks.  Obviously I never assumed it would be easy to say good bye, I just never imagined it would be so hard. 

Here are a few pictures of my very first baby!  The sweetest creature who initially taught me a little about responsibility!  I sure hope his journey to the rainbow bridge is pain free and peaceful!  And full of love!  I will certainly be meeting him there one day with a ball in hand! 

We love you, Noah.  I silently pray all the time you know that.  Josie thinks you are funny and laughs at you often.  You are so gentle with her...and I can tell you adore her!  You are loved...by all of us and basically all who have ever met you!  Thank you for being a good boy!  Always!

Update- The Crying Game

Oh My.....
As you may have read in my last post, we set out re-train Josie to sleep in her crib all night long.  My mind was set on the "cry it out" method.  So, Brandon and I put on our "tough love" pants and decided that Thursday night would be THE NIGHT our lives changed, at least in terms of sleep/exhaustion.

Night 1:
Dear Heavens......I had no idea my daughter could be as stubborn, hard headed and strong willed (I know...it's all redundant) as her father as this!  75 minutes.  75-stinking-minutes.  That is how long our kid cried, refusing to give in and fall asleep.  I can't tell you how many times we questioned the "cry it out" method or how many times I wanted to crack and pick her up and concede to her sleeping in our bed until she leaves for college. 

To put it bluntly, the first night was hell. Once she finally gave in and fell asleep, she was much easier to deal with the rest of the night.  She woke up a couple of times, but was able to self-soothe within only a couple of minutes.

Night 2:
I was dreading night 2.  She started crying when we went into the nursery for quiet time with a bottle and I just knew it was going to be a repeat of night 1.  Night 2 crying lasted all of about 4 minutes.  4-amazing minutes and she didn't wake up once until 5:30am.  Say hello to a full night's sleep!

Night 3:
Approximately 37 seconds of crying.  And OUT! 

I am not saying the "cry it out" method is right.  Especially not for everyone.  If you had asked me on the first night I would have warned you to stay away. Stay far, far away! And I am certainly not saying our issues are solved.  Night 2 and 3 Josie was exhausted, so I am certain that helped her fall asleep quickly.  I am sure we will continue to struggle with these routines and practices.  But, as of right now.......it works.  It's tough, it's sad and can be heartbreaking, but it works.  A rested (or semi-rested) mama is a much happier mama!

Who's the Boss?

She's 10 months old and totally running our house.  If Super Nanny was still a show, we would be the perfect candidates.  When that show first came out I would shake my head at these "so called parents" who just couldn't seem to grasp the simplest of routines and disciplinary actions with their children.  If the baby doesn't want to sleep in her crib, you let her cry it out, as hard as it may be, until she learns to self-soothe.  Duh, parents.
Ahemmm...

We "trained" Josie to self-soothe around 6 months of age.  By 8 months old she would wake up in the middle of the night, cry for a couple of moments, then drift peacefully back to sleep.  I wish I could say at 10 months old she was continuing those practices. 

Now you are about to hear every parent's story excuse........About a month ago she got sick.  She had that disgusting cough and running nose.  She would wake herself up at night because she was so congested and couldn't breath.  We put her in our bed to prop her up and hopefully open her airways.  It seemed like it took her FOREVER to get over the cold, and honestly, it was a long time.....nearly 2 1/2 weeks.  Trust me, 17 days is plenty of time to completely ruin any routine, even those you thought were ingrained into their DNA's. 

Once she got over the cold we set out to "re-train" Josie to self-soothe.  The first couple of nights were hard, but I felt like we were making progress (although slight).  Then, BAM.....the freaking disgusting stomach virus hit us and we scurried through nearly 5 straight days/nights of diarrhea.  Poor babe.  She might feel terrible during the day, but hey....she's sleeping like a champ at night....in our bed.  

Oh....how foolishly we bragged about how well our child slept through the night at 6, 7, and 8 months. FOOLS! We were sooooo naive!


Now, here we are, back to trying to let her cry it out.  Some nights I have no problem letting her cry for 5-10 minutes, but it kills her Daddy.  Some nights he wants to let her cry it out, but it breaks my heart.  I know we have to get on the same page and trust me, we understand that she is totally manipulating us with her cries.  But...holy cow...this SUCKS!  And she can go 6 straight minutes with the most dramatic cry you have heard from a 10 month old and not take a breath.  She's good.  Really good.  And we are weak....there...I said it!

Thankfully her terrible sleeping patterns don't effect her cuteness.  I KNOW.....huge sigh of relief, right?
Here are a couple of new pics!

The only thing cuter than a baby in a Bear's Jersey..... 

Is a baby in blue jeans, with her high top Converse!

Wish us luck as we head back into the baby hell trenches tonight to put this child to sleep.  I know one thing for sure, we won't make the mistake of letting the little booger in our bed next time around! 

Time Marches On......

She gets older every day. The same way we all do. But as she gets older she gains so much more than the normal wrinkles and grey hair adults dread. As she gets older she gains her independence and newly learned skills. Every day we inch closer to toddler-ville, leaving infant-land far behind. I am convinced we will be those unfortunate parents who have a child that walks at 9 months. And although we would be thrilled for our little pumpkin to transition from crawling to walking at a young-er than normal age, part of me has been secretly hoping she sticks with crawling for a bit longer.

Josie now sleeps through the night on a regular basis. This is not necessarily new to us or her, but what has changed is that we no longer feed her during the night. I am sure you are thinking “Well, duh, if she is sleeping through the night then you can’t feed her”. But what I am really saying is that even if she does wake up and cry out, we let her cry for a bit and put herself back to sleep (thank Heavens for self-soothing skills). This is opposed to me dragging from the bed to nurse her at the first sounds of stirring.

This is going to seem crazy to very new parents, but there is a huge part of my heart that hurts knowing I won’t be feeding her in the middle of the night anymore. In fact, I won’t be nursing her at all anymore. Eight months of breastfeeding and my body made that tough decision for me. I basically woke up one morning and the spigot had been turned off. This lifestyle that had so many times become my burden was over. And weirdly, it was heartbreaking for me.

There is truly something special about the bond of middle of the night feedings. Sure, there were some nights where I probably slept through half the feeding or mornings where I was so tired I swore I wouldn’t make it through another day. But I survived, as most parents do. There is something so comforting and sweet about a barely awake baby. For those brief moments, she was still and quiet, along with the rest of the house and the rest of the world. I could feel her breath and actually take in her sweet baby scent. This was that special time where I memorized every feature on her face and studied her sweet hands and feet down to every last detail. This was that special time where I told her I loved her a thousand times, but never actually spoke a word. This is time I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world.

Bottom line: I don’t ever want to forget those moments. The times I had with just Josie and I. Those are the sweet moments I want to remember so that when she is grown and experiencing her first baby I can say “Hang in there, honey. It only gets better.” And I will know with complete confidence that nothing could be truer!

First time parents with a first time fever

I had, in my head, an idea of how I had hoped Jo's first 4th of July would go.  It was something along the lines of baths, feedings and pj's complete, followed by a later than usual bedtime so we could sit in the drive way and watch the fireworks.  I was excited to see Jo's reaction to the fireworks, whether good or bad.  And naturally, I was excited to document her first 4th through photos and eventually a blog (ahem). 



Ahh...one can only dream of making their child's first 4th this memorable.

The older Jo gets the more we realize our "ideas" of how an evening or event should go may or may not go as planned.  There were a couple of things I really did not factor into my "plan" for Jo.  First....the wretched heat.  Wednesday was yet another triple digit day in East Tennessee.....yuck.  Second....fireworks generally don't start until after it gets dark, which means keeping Jo up past 9pm.  Which is nearly impossible.  Third......7 1/2 month olds probably don't really seem to care about fireworks (hmmm). 

Or, at least I assume 7 1/2 month olds don't really care about fireworks.  I really wouldn't know as we never even got close to finding out.  About 6pm on Wednesday evening Brandon and I noticed that Jo seemed to be pretty warm.  By 6:45 we checked her temperature and sure enough she had a fever. Although I did not realize that a baby isn't considered to have a fever until their temperature is above 100.5...so technically at 100.3 she didn't have a REAL fever.  But, don't go telling that to first time parents experiencing first time fevers/sicknesses.  You might as well have sounded the alarms in the Bice household.  How is it that parents who seem to stay fairly calm and collected 90 % of the time (at least we hope) can fall apart in a moment over something as simple as a low grade fever?  Although, I will say, in reality we stayed pretty cool......for the most part.  So our 4th of July ended with baby Tylenol, extra cuddles and an earlier than normal bedtime for Miss Josie.  As it turns out, our little sweet potato has her first ear infection.  Both Brandon and I agree that making it to nearly 8 months of age without any ear infections is pretty darn great for ANY daycare baby! 

On a brighter note....

Brandon and I are so excited to spend some time with his family soon!  His sisters and aunt/uncle/cousins have never met Jo and it will be so incredible to introduce her to all of them.  We also have a new niece we have never met!  We so look forward to this time with them!  It's hard to believe we haven't seen some of his family in two years!  Two years can seem like a lifetime when families are growing and changing so quickly.

This award says it all.....

Oh my gosh....This is so unexpected.  Such an honor!
I would like to accept this award on behalf of anyone still reading this blog (*chirp chirp...those are my cricket  noises).  First, I would like to thank the 6 1/2 month old child who consumes 99.9% of my free time.  Thanks, honey...LOVE You!  Next, my job!  Can't forget the reason I am away from my home and child all day everyday.  And finally (I am so taken aback by this beautiful award) writers block (*read......I am sure you don't want to ALWAYS read about my kid and I can't come up with anything else to write about)! 

That being said......

I can't believe it's already June!  Not only June, but nearly mid-June.  Next week our kiddo will be 7 months old.  What the heck?  She's pretty darn amazing and we are cherishing every day with her.  This past weekend she started crawling.  It was an awesome (yet sort of sad) sight.  She isn't a graceful crawler quite yet, she is still rocking the army crawl. But, the point is, she can get from destination A to destination B without any help or hesitation.  Which truly means she is into everything from the dog's toys to our entertainment center.  Guess it's time to put away those knives and firecrackers we normally leave laying around the house.  She loves to "walk" with assistance and I can't help but think she will be walking on her own long before her first birthday.  She has been eating baby cereal for a couple of months and is now also having baby food (either homemade with my trusty new baby food maker or the Stage 1 baby foods you buy in the store).  This weekend we plan to let her try "puffs".  Yet another milestone!

This blog isn't the only thing that has had to take a back seat to the baby.  Everything from the dogs to our yard work to our once thriving existing social life now play second fiddle to our little mobile bundle of joy.  I am not sure there is any true way to maintain pre-baby lifestyles once the little ones arrive.  You can try to keep your normal schedule, but let's be honest......life changes.  Things that you thought were so important before no longer make blips on your radar.  And the hobbies you once loved (blogging, running, drinking) can no longer be considered hobbies now as they are done with such infrequency. 

As our peanut grows, so will our sacrifices.  As a parent, I would sacrifice just about anything in the world to hear this child scream with excitement and watch her little body squirm across the floor to me.  I cannot think of any joy or hobby great than her!

But....here is my vow.....to myself and you (chirp chirp)

I vow to remain an individual and not just baby's mommy.   I will try to keep up with this blog more often.  And although most of my posts will be about our peanut (let's be honest...they will pretty much ALL be about her), I will try to do a better job of including posts about other subjects.  Although I will admit here and now, no other subject will be nearly as cute!

Winning the lottery, otherwise known as our Last Will and Testament

Brandon and I are currently in the process of putting together our Will.  Not sure why I even say "currently in the process", as there is hardly anything current about this process (other than the fact that I FINALLY made the appointment).  We have been talking about putting together a Will since we found out we were going to be parents.  And here we are, with a 6 month old (I KNOW...how is that possible?) and no Will. 

I told Brandon this week that it had to be in place before we leave for vacation next month.  God Forbid something terrible should happen to Brandon and I and our little peanut end up in the care of the state (I don't even know if that is how it works, but I would really rather not find out).  I have seen movies about little red-headed orphans.  And although those kids sure can carry a tune and organize themselves quite nicely, I don't think we want Jo meeting any "Miss Hannigans" anytime soon.  Although I will say if there is a Daddy Warbucks anywhere in her future, hopefully it will be her biologically Daddy (fingers crossed....LOL). 

Thinking about who you want to raise your children should you ever die in a freak accident is slightly depressing.  Also...it's not easy.  Thankfully we are NOT in a situation of picking the lesser of two evils (or maybe I am just saying this because one of you is going to end up with our child(ren) and I am desperate to kiss up to you now, so that you don't turn our sweet peanut(s) into your house maids).  But, in all reality this choice has been hard for Brandon and I, but we both take comfort in knowing that any of the people we have to choose from are responsible, loving, wonderful people and would make great caregivers of Jo (again with the kissing up).  I can only imagine the stress that comes to those who don't have good family members/friends to fall back on.  I bet in those instances Miss Hannigan looks more and more like a nice lady!
 
Do people put dogs in wills?  I know some lunatics leave all their money to their dogs, but what does a millionaire dog do with no owners?  I suppose the least of my worries should be our dogs (especially if Jo ends up where she is supposed to be) but I can't help but wonder where they could go?  Not many people are equipped to take on two full grown (and lovable) pit bulls.  I almost feel like we should lump them together like a package deal.  For instance "Hey...the good news is we have decided we want you to get Jo if anything terrible should happen to us.  The even better news is when you buy one baby, you get two dogs for free! Yay. Good luck with that!"  Or maybe we should leave the child(ren) to one family and the dogs to another?  Wouldn't that be a slap in the face.  "So, we decided NOT to leave you the kid(s), but good news, you get the dogs! Good luck with that!"

So, basically someone in our family is about to win the potential baby/dog lottery.  Although, since the prize for this lottery is so wonderful (naturally, what with it being our baby and our dogs) we may not be releasing the name of the winner.  This would be in an attempt to ensure no freak accidents occur (I am watching my back).  In all seriousness, I am relieved that we are finally going to take care of our Will situation and I know it will give me some peace for the future.  If you do not already have a Will in place or you have not thought about one and you are a parent, you should truly start thinking.  Even if you just write down some thoughts on a napkin and get it notarized or have someone other than yourself sign it (I really don't know if this is correct, you should probably look into it more than just following my lazily non-researched directions), that has to be better than having nothing at all, right?


And now, as part of the contract of my motherly duties, I have to share this video with you.  But first, allow me to give you the back story.....

I had been taking video of Jo when Dixie, our female dog, hit my hand and the camera phone.  This made the flash come on.  I tried to start a new video, one WITHOUT the interruption of our dog when I realized the flash was on.  As you will see in this video.....turning the flash off was my biggest concern....

As you can tell...she was FINE and not phased by the little spill.  For whatever reason I can NOT stop laughing at this video.  I find it hilarious.  Does that make me a bad mommy?  I sure hope not! If we can't laugh at our own children then why do we have babies to begin with?

The serious flaws of breastfeeding (pumping to be exact).....

Have you ever actually seen anyone squeeze blood out of a turnip?  No?  Of course not.  Don't you know how hard it is to squeeze blood out of a turnip?

Well....that's sort of how I am feeling about using the breast pump these days.  I am so over it right now I could scream.  Don't get me wrong....I love nursing the baby.  I love that bonding time we have together and I especially love all of the good things that her body gets from my milk.  I also love that breastfeeding is free and oddly enough, I love those middle of the night feedings where she sleepily wraps her little hand around my arm while she nurses (seriously...melts my heart).  I don't, however, love having to lug my pump to and from work each day.  I don't love having to take a minimum of 30 minutes out of my day to go pump, in a room that is not my office and barely private.  Also....it's cold when the A/C is on!

I especially don't love those days where I swear I pump for 20+ minutes and only get 3 ounces.  I wish I could understand the reasoning behind mysterious pumping sessions, but I cannot.  Some days I only pump for 15 minutes and end up with 8-10 ounces.  Some days it's like trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip and all I want to do is throw a fit in the conference room floor (this is my "not so private or personal" lactation space).  And yes, I realize the saying "squeeze blood out of a turnip" is not being used in proper context, but this blog is honestly anything BUT proper. 

This is just so frustrating.  As of right now I send the baby to school with two breast milk bottles and one formula bottle.  My body should be producing enough milk that I can send her with 3 breast milk bottles each day, but, apparently, it refuses to cooperate.  And it seems like each day my milk production goes down little by little.  This week I am struggling just to come up with enough milk to send two bottles.  I fear that if I send her with anymore formula she may revolt and turn that school upside down, because BOY does she HATE formula. 

Am I doing something wrong?  I realize there actually is a breast feeding handbook, so I cannot use the excuse that breastfeeding doesn't come with a handbook.  But, I am much too lazy to read this book, also....it sounds really boring.  Maybe someone out there has a better idea of what to do?  Or maybe this is just how it goes for some women.  Maybe, for us, I won't be the one deciding when it's time to stop breastfeeding, maybe my body will make that decision for me.  Geez...who knows....

They say it takes a village to raise a child.  I need a village of lactating women!  Anyone know where I can find this PARTICULAR village?

Clearly she's advanced

Parenthood = the land where the simplest of tasks become bitter sweet.

She's growing!  And just like everyone who has ever raised a child has declared, she is indeed growing too quickly.

Just today I packed up more of her 3 month clothing.  The pants she has been wearing since she was about 8 weeks old now resemble carpi's on her little baby legs.  I realize she is nearly 5 months old, so the shock of her not fitting into her 3 month pants wore off fairly quickly, but it's still hard to believe! 

She is a rolling machine!  She now rolls all over the place when on the floor. Sometimes right after I lay her down on her back I will look back and find her like this........

And yes, she is always so proud of herself!  Her rolling has gotten frequent enough that we had to remove the bumpers from her crib. 

It's just crib bumpers and 3 month pants, but it's these constant reminders that our little peanut is growing!  She isn't just growing, she's thriving and learning and developing cool new skills (even if it is just rolling over).  Although we realize these milestones are tiny in the big scheme of her journey in life, they are bittersweet for us.  Because this adorable little peanut will only be this little for so long.  Soon she'll be crawling, and walking, and talking (and since she is so obviously advanced in the world of infants I am sure these skills will come along very soon)!

I never want to forget these days, yet I can't wait to see what each new day holds for her!  I am so grateful to call myself her Mommy, because she is truly amazing! 


Yep.............
CLEARLY she's advanced (at least in hand gestures and hair)!

Chicago photo dump.....

Obviously I have been a terrible blogger lately.  Between work and an infant baby and training for the upcoming half marathon in Nashville at the end of April.....I have plenty of excuses.  So just pick the excuse that makes you feel the best and makes me look the least like a slacker! 

I survived the trip to Indiana and Chicago for St. Paddy's Day.  It was a tough weekend (being away from the peanut) but we had so much fun romping around the city and spending time with some great friends.  Here are just a few of the pictures I took in Chicago......

Am I insane?

I can hardly believe it.  I must be out of my mind.
But...

This weekend I am leaving this sweet face....

In the care of this man.....

To go here.....

But, since it will be St. Patrick's Day, it will look more like this....

Let's hope this doesn't happen......

This weekend a couple of friends and I are packing our bags and heading up to Indiana to spent some time with our friends the Tyree's.  While there, we plan to scoot on over to Chicago on Saturday for a little St. Patty's Day festivities!  I am starting to think I might be crazy running off to IN for a long weekend and leaving behind my sweet 4 month old Peanut.  But, contrary to the above picture, my sweet husband is very capable and willing and I know Peanut will be in good hands.  Although I may sob half the way up 75-North. 

And although it will be tough, I would be telling a BOLD FACED lie if I didn't admit to being totally pumped about not only celebrating St. Patty's Day with some great friends, but also celebrating in the beautiful city of Chicago! 

This will be a weekend of many firsts!  And as long as we all survive, without criminal records, it should be lots of fun!





Overly Obvious Survey

MSN's home page this morning is showing a tab called "10 Things Never to Say to a Working Mom".  Here are those 10 things:

1. It must be hard missing all those special moments every day.
2. I suppose it's smart that you're working. You know, in case your husband leaves you some day.
3. I'm surprised you went back to work. Your husband seems so successful;
4. It's cute when they call your nanny "Mama."
5. I just love my kids too much to leave them during the day.
6. Did you see Dateline? The one with the hidden camera in the day care?
7. I could never let someone else raise my children. But that's just me!
8. I hated my mom because she was never home after school like everyone else's mom.
9. You must feel so guilty.
10. I wish I were as laid-back as you and could just let the housework go.


People don't really say these things, do they? It's like that myth that strangers will constantly want to touch your pregnant belly.  I never had a single stranger approach me with outstretched germ infested, stranger hands (although that may be more of a testament to my "don't you dare" stare and facial disapproval).  So truthfully, are people really stupid enough to say these things?  And if so, isn't it a little less frowned upon in the judicial system to attack stupid people?  I mean come on?  Can a judge really side with an idiot?  In the event someone should say one of these things to me, let's hope not.

I really love #2!  And just to rub a little salt in that open, festering wound of guilt and sadness working moms naturally harbor, #4 and #5 are particularly fabulous.  Truthfully all of these come across like a swift kick to the groin, which makes me think no one in their right mind is really dense enough to say them.

If you see these phrases and think "I have said something similar to this in the past to the working mom I know" and you didn't get socked in the jaw (be thankful), just be aware that these are completely inappropriate and 100% out of line.  Also know, if you say them to me, you better have a fight or flight reflect or be really good at "duck and cover".  Because best case scenario you will get the tongue lashing (and not the good kind) of a life time and worst case scenario....it gets ugly.

Learning the life of a working mom

I started back to work on Monday morning, which means Josie started daycare (which from this point forward will be referred to as "school").  I thought for sure I would be the mom they have to escort out to the parking lot for upsetting the other children with loud sobs and sloppy wailing.  I was wrong.  I plopped Josie down in a Boppy and she was laughing and giggling before I could even stand up.  She was perfectly fine....and as it turned out, so was I.  Although I will tell  you I rushed to pick her up that afternoon and was so happy to hold her in my arms. 

Although we aren't quite into the groove of school days yet, I have already found some important pros and cons of leaving Josie during the day and returning to work. 

The Pro's of Josie going to school/Mommy going to work:
-Josie learns to socialize with other children
-I get to socialize with other adults
-I get to stop using my "baby talk" voice all day long
-I change fewer poopy diapers
-Josie sleeps like a champ at night because she is no longer taking really long naps during the day
-Josie strengthens her immune system
-Josie and Mommy learn how to combat attachment issues (although there really weren't any on her part, yet)
-Mommy has to shower daily and look professional (I would guess this makes Brandon pretty happy)


The Con's of Josie going to school/Mommy going to work:
-I don't get to hang out with my little peanut all day
-sickness.  I give it one week before she has one or more of the following....cold, flu, ear infection, RSV
-no more watching Ellen :(
-having to pump at work (this is tricky, especially since my office does not have a door)
-I have to do work (I know....who would have thought?)
-Mommy has to shower daily and look professional

In the end, even though it's hard, I think Brandon and I are currently making the best choice for our little family.  I would love to be a stay-at-home-mom, but it just doesn't fit into our plans right now.  Plus, I would really need a strict schedule.  By the end of my maternity leave I was getting tired of just sitting around the house (and please know each day included the constant care of a child, house cleaning, laundry, and general food prep for dinner....so there was not a whole lot of "sitting" going on).  Although I do not consider myself to be "organized" by any means, the past 3 months taught me that I need some sort of structure in my day to day life, otherwise....it all goes to heck in a hand basket (and I wear sweat pants all day long)! 

So far the schedule of balancing baby and work has been pretty rigid.  Each morning I try to figure out how to get up, shower, and ready for work before I wake her up.  Once she's up I have to get her fed and ready to go.  Thankfully (starting this morning), Brandon will be dropping Josie off at school each day.  This will help me keep my morning somewhat sane.  Then I head off to work, where I have to occasionally take a 15-30 minute break to pump.  Then I pick Josie up from daycare.  We go home, she eats, we eat, bath time, more Josie eating, baby bed time, bottle making time (from the day's pumping) and then bedtime for Brandon and I!  Somewhere in there we manage to have a conversation or two, maybe even a kiss hello or good night, and a 3am feeding!  I know working moms have been making it happen for years and years, we just have to find our routine! It's somewhat exhausting (and it's only the first week) but I keep telling myself how great it will be to have Josie all to ourselves this weekend.  This mama is definitely "working for the weekend". 

Hopefully we will continue to see the pro's of our decision outweigh the con's.  Hopefully I can keep the guilt of dropping my child off with "strangers" each day at bay.  I look forward to what the future holds for Miss Josie, especially as she develops new skills and learns at school!  But, mostly, right now....I look forward to 5pm each afternoon. The time where I can pack up my things, leave work, and rush home to see my little peanut!  Holding her and seeing her smile is certainly my reward for a long day's work!  I can not begin to tell you how much we love her! 

*I should note.....I truly have a new respect for working moms!  I have had just a small taste in what it is like to be "on the job" for 16+ hours a day.  I think about my co-workers and family members and friends who have managed this feat, somewhat effortlessly (at least in appearance) in awe.  And of course, it makes me think of my own mom (hero) who not only managed to be a working mom, but she did it with two kids (angels, naturally) and she also did it while working weird hospital hours.  And she did it perfectly, of course, as anyone can tell by how well adjusted and fanastic my brother and I managed to turn out (ha)!

Say it ain't so.....

I had a major scare today with the baby.....

Each day I try to put aside at least an hour to truly educate myself on current events, worldly matters and the economic/political crisis going on in this country.  This one hour period is commonly known around my house as The Ellen DeGeneres Show.  Seriously.....is there any better way to spend an hour each morning?  No.  There is not.

Today, as I was catching up on worldly matters Josie was getting upset.  I started to notice a pattern in her crankiness and the pattern was terribly alarming.  It seemed as though Josie was calm and easily soothed during each and every commercial break, but crying dramatically each time the show came back on.  Oh Lord, please say it ain't so?!  Is it possible my child may not like Ellen?  This may not even be my child.  Could she have gotten switched at the hospital with another newborn with more personality?? 

This is a picture of Josie during a commercial break.  Somewhat content.  I know what you are thinking, a baby with this kind of hair already has tons of personality.  You are correct.....she truly does.

And here she is once Ellen was back on.  Although she was not crying when this picture was taken (it's hard to take a photo of her when she cries as she tends to squirm) you can see the furrow of the brow, which leads quickly to tears.

We had a scare very similar to this about a month ago when we were in the car.  She cried through an entire Journey song and I nearly turned the car around and headed straight to the hospital to demand my "true" daughter. 

A daughter who doesn't like Ellen or Journey?  How will we ever share interests or conduct conversations?  Is this even possible?  Do we even share the same DNA?  I have a lot of work ahead of me to teach her the fine things in life.  We will start tomorrow with an hour of current events and hot topics, followed by an hour of musical education.

Who knows.....maybe it was just gas.

Hair today, gone tomorrow....

One of the little talked about secrets of being pregnant is the amazing effect it has on a woman's hair.  I don't know if its the prenatal vitamins or the pregnant body itself, but being pregnant can do wonders for the hair.  I realize this may not be a big deal to you thick haired women (hmph), but for us stringy, straggly, thinned hair individuals, being pregnant is like 9 months of living the life of a stranger.  A stranger with salon worthy hair!

During the pregnancy I don't think I shed a single hair, seriously.  To my husband's delight he wasn't constantly picking my long hairs off his clothing or wiping it from the bathroom sink.  I am pretty sure that all of the hairs that were saved from the bristles of my hairbrush somehow graced the scalp of my child, too.  Like some sort of hair club for fetuses.....a regenerating hair club type of thing.   

Considering the fact that I was born bald, I find this hilarious (for so many reason, really).  But, seriously, there are kindergartners with less hair than this.  She was born with a head full of hair and it seems to be the fastest growing thing on her body.  She's two months old and still a peanut, but if you count the length/weight of her hair she might actually bust through to the upper 25th percentile for her age (which she has yet to do....seriously...she's a peanut).  With this hair she often gets mistaken for a child of a much older age, 10 or even 12 weeks!

Obviously I don't have any solid proof to back up this "fetus regenerating hair" theory....I am not a scientist for crying out loud.  Which, by the way, the only reason I am not a scientist, one of several reasons why I am not a scientist, just the tip of the iceberg of why I am not a scientist or business major, is because I could never pass Statistics (dang stats). 

So...now that the baby is here (and flaunting her fabulous hair) my hair is falling out faster than I can say Rogaine for Women.  It's looks like my privileged life of a thick mane has passed.  How quickly I forgot how annoying it was to have my long hairs following me around everywhere.  Hanging off my clothing and clogging the sink of my bathroom.  Gone are the days of pretending I am in a Suave Commercial (because my thicker hair looked both practical AND affordable, not like those fancy salon shampoo commercials).  Gone are the days of running my fingers through my hair without feeling like I could weave a sweater with what was left on my hand. 

Just so we are clear.....this is not me.  I have hazel eyes.

Returning back to the ranks of those with thin, stringy hair has been hard.  It's time to reinvest in shampoos that promise to thicken my locks.  It's time to start practicing the phrase "I am not just a spokesperson, I am also a client"!  If nothing else, when Josie grows up, she will probably have plenty of hair to make a wig for her poor Mama.  It's either that or prolonged pregnancy for the rest of my life (and I am pretty sure Brandon isn't on board for that)!

So live it up pregnant ladies and those with naturally thick hair.  For now, you have the spotlight (back)....but one of these days I will return to your special world.  Thick, full, beautiful, shed-free scalp and all!

Sharing pictures

I am certain my facebook friends are sick of seeing picture after picture of Miss Josie.  So...I have decided to post some pictures on the blog.  This way I get to satisfy my addiction of showing her off to the world, without jeopardizing facebook friends' sanity! 

My best friend JoElla made the cutest Santa suit for Josie.  Here are some photos of Josie in her outfit!  Seriously....I dare anyone to not say "aweee" while looking at these pictures. 

Cute little feet!

Our sweet little lady turned two months old today!  I took a few pictures in the cute onesies with month by month stickers given to her by her Aunt Tiffany!  Here is a picture from her one month birthday and a couple more from her second month birthday. 

You can see her baby acne here.  So glad that cleared up!

The bear is for size reference.

She looks less than thrilled!

She looks so much like her daddy here!

Hopefully posting these pictures on the blog will salvage some friendships!  I guess when you stay at home all day long and only have the little peanut to interact with, it is hard to not go overboard with the photos.  And....like most moms, I naturally think my kiddo is super cute and everyone should see be subjected to her royal cuteness!