Well....that's sort of how I am feeling about using the breast pump these days. I am so over it right now I could scream. Don't get me wrong....I love nursing the baby. I love that bonding time we have together and I especially love all of the good things that her body gets from my milk. I also love that breastfeeding is free and oddly enough, I love those middle of the night feedings where she sleepily wraps her little hand around my arm while she nurses (seriously...melts my heart). I don't, however, love having to lug my pump to and from work each day. I don't love having to take a minimum of 30 minutes out of my day to go pump, in a room that is not my office and barely private. Also....it's cold when the A/C is on!
I especially don't love those days where I swear I pump for 20+ minutes and only get 3 ounces. I wish I could understand the reasoning behind mysterious pumping sessions, but I cannot. Some days I only pump for 15 minutes and end up with 8-10 ounces. Some days it's like trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip and all I want to do is throw a fit in the conference room floor (this is my "not so private or personal" lactation space). And yes, I realize the saying "squeeze blood out of a turnip" is not being used in proper context, but this blog is honestly anything BUT proper.
This is just so frustrating. As of right now I send the baby to school with two breast milk bottles and one formula bottle. My body should be producing enough milk that I can send her with 3 breast milk bottles each day, but, apparently, it refuses to cooperate. And it seems like each day my milk production goes down little by little. This week I am struggling just to come up with enough milk to send two bottles. I fear that if I send her with anymore formula she may revolt and turn that school upside down, because BOY does she HATE formula.
Am I doing something wrong? I realize there actually is a breast feeding handbook, so I cannot use the excuse that breastfeeding doesn't come with a handbook. But, I am much too lazy to read this book, also....it sounds really boring. Maybe someone out there has a better idea of what to do? Or maybe this is just how it goes for some women. Maybe, for us, I won't be the one deciding when it's time to stop breastfeeding, maybe my body will make that decision for me. Geez...who knows....
They say it takes a village to raise a child. I need a village of lactating women! Anyone know where I can find this PARTICULAR village?
I personally never had trouble pumping at home, but did struggle when I worked. It is very hard not being in a private place. I found that I would wait to long to pump and my breasts were to firm and it was harder to get a good connection between the actual pump and breast. I had bought a lansinoh (sp) breast pump and my family bought a used medella. I would take the medella to work and leave it there, and had my Lansinoh at home to prevent going back and forth. I hated medella pump, and could not get anything to come out. I even tried it at home. So it might be the type of pump. Of course you always hear to drink plenty of water, look at a picture of your baby, and stuff like that. I feel it is just uncomfortable for women to do it with working and that is why so many stop when going back to work. I would try to pump at home in between feedings. Not sure if its worth spending more money on a different pump. Hope this helps
ReplyDeleteLady, you know how I feel about this! Nursing never worked for me and that stinkin' pump just about drove me off a cliff. Josie will adjust to formula as soon as she's hungry enough if she needs to. I think - though I'm not positive - your body may adjust and allow you to nurse at home and give her formula at school if you "train" it to do so?!? Worth some research if you want to think about it. Good luck - I know these decisions are so heart wrenching but in the long run I think mama's happiness and sanity is most important.
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