Can't let go....

I could write you a list (a short one, though) of little things relating to Josie that I just can't let go of.  Our little peanut is only a handful months away from being a toddler, yet I am clutching certain baby items with a death grip, refusing to let go.

This morning, one such item came to mind, when I was awaken from my sleep.  The baby monitor.  Baby monitors were really designed for people with large houses.  Our home is comfortable and perfect for a family of 3, but large- it is not.  In fact, Josie's bedroom is directly across the hall from our bedroom.  If her crib were centered just right, I could probably throw something from my room to her crib, without even getting out of bed. 

I know the baby monitor comes in quite handy for those who have a long way to roam, which we don't.  Or even for those are comfortable going outside while the baby is sleeping.  As a tiny baby, we never did that.  As a soon-to-be toddler, even if she did wake up in the night and we were outside (doing what, I don't know?) we wouldn't go get her anyway.  We encourage her to sleep in her crib all night and self-soothe. 

The point of this is, I am still using my baby monitor like it's a necessity.  I use it like it's the first night she has ever slept in her crib and I have to be certain she is okay.  I use it like it helps.  It doesn't.  She is 7 feet away, across the hall.  I can hear every little cry or cough (because she is that close) without the device.  The monitor is not necessary.  Yet, for some reason and for my piece of mind, I turn it on every night. 

I had to chuckle at myself this morning as Jo was crying in her crib.  I heard her immediately.  No thanks to the monitor, though (that I had on, but apparently left the volume at zero).  Further proof  that I don't need that darn thing, yet I can't seem to let go of using it.  Silly, right?

Don't even get me started on how long I plan to continue to shove her little chubby thighs into her Bumbo seat (even though she is starting to master the art of standing up in the seat, thighs still engaged, and walk around) or how much longer I will let her have her morning milk out of a bottle.  It seems as though she gains a new independence everyday, but some she may have to fight for!