FET #1

The morning of:
I was so nervous waiting to hear from the doctor about what time to come into the office for our first Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). First thing that morning the doctor would have to start thawing embryos. If the first set didn't produce one good thaw, I would have to wait for the next set (each set had two frozen embryos). Brandon and I decided ahead of time that we would only transfer one embryo at a time to reduce our risk of having multiples. Although I would have loved the opportunity to have twins, it was the right choice for our family. In the meantime, I was having to fill my bladder, because a full bladder is best anytime an embryo is being transferred.

The doctor finally called around 9:08 (not that I was being totally anal and watching the phone/clock endlessly). Only one embryo survived the thawing process. Since we only planned to transfer one, we are okay to proceed (although there was some sadness over losing one embryo). I was told to come into the office at 11:45. The procedure should be completed by 12:30-12:45. Take my Valium at 11 (wahoo) and hold my bladder for at least an hour prior to the procedure. Seems so easy, right? I sure hope so.  I was pretty surprised how quickly I felt the effects of my Valium.  I was extremely smiley for the first half hour or so!  I had to remind myself that this wasn't my normal "happy" face and tried hard not to scare anyone!

The morning after:
So glad things were simpler this time around. During our first IVF experience I was already deep into OHSS by the time my transfer date arrived. This time.....no pain, no bloating or no major discomfort. People kept asking how I felt, and I kept oddly answering "Fine. Like nothing happened."   After the transfer was made, I had to lie on the "reclined exam bed" with my feet up higher than my head for about 30 minutes.  It's certainly not my most attractive angle, but the time passes much faster than you might think (thanks, Valium)!

1 day after my FET (also written 1dpfet) I had some slight cramping. But, in the long run it was brief and barely noticeable. Once again we find ourselves in the two week wait (TWW), although it will be more like 10 days for us. once again I am analyzing every feeling and twinge. Once again we are traveling down our road of complete uncertainty...and we are excited.

10dpfet:
On Feb 22nd. I went in for my blood pregnancy test and later that afternoon I got the negative results.  Brandon and I were pretty bummed.  I guess the hardest thing for me was the fact that I was so certain the transfer had worked.  We hadn't told any of our immediate family about the transfer.  With IVF#1 we never got to have that "surprise, we are pregnant" moment because we were so public about our struggles with infertility and IVF.  So this time around we were really excited to keep it a secret from our families.  Honestly, it was easier that way, too.  Knowing that we didn't have to answer any phone calls and share our sad news was a relief.  This way, we were able to tell our families on our terms. 

Learning that the FET#1 didn't work was hard, but not as hard as I had expected.  I didn't cry (more than a couple of stray tears).  We sucked it up and kept on marching.  Honestly, I thought I would be an emotional basket case, but I wasn't.  It stung and our hearts ached, but were weren't broken.  I thank Josie for that.  15 month old babies don't want to sit down long enough to enjoy pity-parties.  She's not interested in being depressed.  And having her energy and excitement when I came home that day was exactly what I needed. 

Time marches on and I am pretty certain life does, too!  We have decided to jump right back into embryo transfers and will start working towards FET#2.  It's a little scarier this time, as we both realize this will be our last time.  I will continue to remind myself that this has all been planned out for us.  Often in ways we can't understand.  What is meant to happen will happen.  It's His will and plan.  And we will continue to be thankful, daily, for our beautiful daughter!