Well....that's sort of how I am feeling about using the breast pump these days. I am so over it right now I could scream. Don't get me wrong....I love nursing the baby. I love that bonding time we have together and I especially love all of the good things that her body gets from my milk. I also love that breastfeeding is free and oddly enough, I love those middle of the night feedings where she sleepily wraps her little hand around my arm while she nurses (seriously...melts my heart). I don't, however, love having to lug my pump to and from work each day. I don't love having to take a minimum of 30 minutes out of my day to go pump, in a room that is not my office and barely private. Also....it's cold when the A/C is on!
I especially don't love those days where I swear I pump for 20+ minutes and only get 3 ounces. I wish I could understand the reasoning behind mysterious pumping sessions, but I cannot. Some days I only pump for 15 minutes and end up with 8-10 ounces. Some days it's like trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip and all I want to do is throw a fit in the conference room floor (this is my "not so private or personal" lactation space). And yes, I realize the saying "squeeze blood out of a turnip" is not being used in proper context, but this blog is honestly anything BUT proper.
This is just so frustrating. As of right now I send the baby to school with two breast milk bottles and one formula bottle. My body should be producing enough milk that I can send her with 3 breast milk bottles each day, but, apparently, it refuses to cooperate. And it seems like each day my milk production goes down little by little. This week I am struggling just to come up with enough milk to send two bottles. I fear that if I send her with anymore formula she may revolt and turn that school upside down, because BOY does she HATE formula.
Am I doing something wrong? I realize there actually is a breast feeding handbook, so I cannot use the excuse that breastfeeding doesn't come with a handbook. But, I am much too lazy to read this book, also....it sounds really boring. Maybe someone out there has a better idea of what to do? Or maybe this is just how it goes for some women. Maybe, for us, I won't be the one deciding when it's time to stop breastfeeding, maybe my body will make that decision for me. Geez...who knows....
They say it takes a village to raise a child. I need a village of lactating women! Anyone know where I can find this PARTICULAR village?
