Her arrival.....the story.

*DISCLAIMER- this blog has information regarding the birth of Josie.....so it might be gross, so feel free to skip this post if you don't want the details.  Also... it's so long...sorry, but I didn't want to leave out too many details!

After spending over four weeks dilated at one centimeter, I was sure our little Josie was never going to arrive.  On Tuesday, November 15th, Brandon and I waddled (well, I waddled) to the doctor's office.  I was confident there had been changes from the previous week and our doctor was going to tell us we were well on our way.  Needless to say I was disappointed to once again hear the news that I was NOT dilating and we were basically no closer to having this baby!  The doctor offered to strip my membrane and we jumped at the chance to help advance our progress.  (This ended up being the most painful part of the whole birth)

After leaving the doctor I was SURE the baby was coming soon.  I was sooo uncomfortable and hadn't quite had those feeling prior to the doctor's visit.  If you had asked me Tuesday morning when the baby was coming, I would have told you soon.   But, unfortunately, by Tuesday late afternoon/evening, I was back to feeling like my normal self and had put the idea of meeting Josie in the very near future out of my mind.  Thankfully, at the doctor, we set up and induction date....in the event Josie did decide to continue to "Occupy Uterus" (haha...get it, like Occupy Wall Street....yeah, I know, I am a dork).  In the event Josie had not arrived on her own, we were set up for induction first thing Monday morning, November 21st. 

By Wednesday, November 16th (Josie's due date) I was pretty bummed that no progress was being made.  I had decided that this would be my final day of work.  Each evening after work I was trying to take home everything I might need, should Josie make her arrival.  And every morning I was having to haul all these items back to the office....in case I needed them during the day.  I was getting to the point where I did not want to start new projects, should I not show up the next day.  After some consideration, I decided that Josie's due date would be my final day of work (should she not be here).  On Wednesday, my final day, I decided I would leave after lunch.  Things were slow and I was slowing down considerably.....and I could tell a nap was in my near future. 

As a sweet goodbye gesture, some of the ladies in the office wanted to go to lunch at Chili's.  Naturally, being 10 months pregnant, I did NOT turn down a chance to eat!  Lunch was going nicely and I was pretty excited about eating some good foods.  The ladies ordered chips and salsa and bean cheese skillet dip.  So delicious.  Keeping with the spicy/mexican theme, I decided to order the jalapeno cheddar burger!  Why not enjoy the last meal I was going to have with these lovely ladies?  Once our food arrived I started to feel a little off.  I chalked it up to eating too much appetizers (spicy ones at that).  But, being the trooper I am, I started in on my burger.  About 5 minutes into the burger, I knew something was up.  I excused myself from the table and went to the bathroom, but there was nothing to worry about.  I waddled my big butt back to the table and as soon as I reached the table (before I was able to say a word or even sit down) it happened.  My water broke.  At Chili's.  In the middle of the lunch-hour rush.  Instead of screaming "My water just broke" (which is what I wanted to do), I silently ran waddled (quickly) back to the bathroom.  I am sure my co-workers thought I was crazy. 

Once in the bathroom I noticed, sure enough, a lot of liquid had just be lost.  The best thing about my water breaking is that it did not happen like it does on television or in the movies (at least not to me).  There was no HUGE gush of liquid spilling down my pants and leaving a huge puddle on the floor for people waitresses to slip and fall in.  THANKFULLY!  Standing at the bathroom mirror I had a total moment of FREAK OUT!  Oh  my gosh......this was happening and this means that I am actually going to have this baby.  HOLY CRAP!  My freak out lasted about 30 seconds and then I attempted to pull myself together.  I was nervous and excited....but I was not scared.  So...I did what any 10 month pregnant woman would do....I waddled back to the table, informed the ladies (very non-chalantly) that my water had just broken, and finished eating my burger.  Which, by the way, I was sure I would end up regretting.....as jalapenos and labor do not sound like a good mix for me or anyone involved. 

After eating half my burger and most my fries, I decided it was time to make the phone call to the doctor and then, my sweet husband. The nurse on call said "Come on in and we will check you out in triage".  Since I was not 100% certain what I had experienced was definitely my water breaking, I called Brandon just to let him know I was going to the hospital to be checked out.  The conversation was meant to be a heads-up.  I had hoped I could tell him that I was going to get checked and if my water had indeed broken, they would admit me.....and THEN he should head to the hospital.  Instead the conversation went a little more like this:
Me:  Hey honey, what are you doing?
B:  Not much, just working.  What's up?
Me:  Well, I think my water just broke.
B:  WHAT?  Are you serious?
Me:  Yeah, I just talked to the doctor and they said to come on down and go to triage.  But, I don't think you should come to the hospital until we know for sure it has broken, because if not, they will just send me home.
B:  *nervous laughter*  Okay....I am going to go home *nervous laughter* and let the dogs out *nervous laughter* and *nervous laughter*......
Me:  Okay....just wait for me to call.  I will let you know something as soon as I can.
B:  *nervous laughter*
Me:  Are you okay, honey?
B:  NO, I AM NOT OKAY.

Turns out the nervous laughter was actually hyperventilation.  Stupid phones, you can never tell the difference between a complete breakdown and a silly moment.

I wish I could say my friend, Samantha, who drove me to the hospital was calmer.....but I can not.  She and my other buddy Ruth were amazing and got me there in record time, which really scared the hell out of me.  Samantha felt like she needed to drive 70 the whole way! As I am hanging on for the ride of my life, my gas light comes on.  I thought Samantha was going to have a stroke.  Needless to say, she was less than happy to make the pit stop at the gas station.  I think I ended up rubbing Samantha's shoulders and telling her everything would be okay for the rest of the ride!  Hahah...I am mostly kidding.  Although Sam was freaked out, she did an amazing job!  And the best part was, on my way to the hospital, I received a text from Brandon that says "I am not ready".....I laughed so hard at this, thinking.....ready or not....she's on her way. 

When we got to the hospital (in one piece...thank you God), Samantha and Ruth went with me to Triage.  I got checked in, and sure enough, my water had broken and sure enough, I was still only 1 cm dilated (ARE YOU KIDDING ME????).  I was being admitted and it was time to call Brandon and break the news.  He sounded a little calmer and said he would be heading that way shortly.  Knowing it was going to be a long day, I told him not to rush.  With in a few minutes they have me moved to a labor and delivery room!

Brandon arrived at the hospital around 2:45pm.  He looked pretty nervous still, but I think the shot of bourbon he took at the house probably calmed some of those nerves.  Around 3pm they start Pitocin, the drug meant speed up labor.  From 3pm-6pm we labor along without much progress.  When I checked in at triage around 1:45pm there were only a few other women preparing to meet their little babies.  By 4pm, there were at least 12, including myself.  The maternity floor was busy, to say the least!  Around 6pm my nurse asks me if I want to go ahead and get the epidural.  By that point I had  not been in too much pain.  My pitocin was being increased only slightly and the contractions were not terribly painful.  In all honesty, I was hoping to wait out the epidural a little longer (why...I don't know).  But, my nurse suggested I go ahead and get the medicine.  She let me know that with the floor being so busy, once I was ready for the medicine, it might be a while to wait.  I am so glad I took her advice.  The anesthesiologist came to the room only a few minutes after the decision was made and by the time the epidural was starting to kick in, the contractions were getting a little painful.  The epidural was not painful but the sensation of the medicine going down the spine is one I will never forget!!!

From 7-9pm I laid in the bed basking in the strange numbness that was taking over my body.  Around 9pm the contractions were getting stronger and they sent the anesthesiologist back in to give me another dose of medicine.  I was checked between 9-10pm and told I was 6 cms.  I was pretty excited to finally have some progress.  The nurse told us it would probably still be another several hours.  So, imagine all of our surprise when the nurse checked me again at 11:25 and told us we were ready to have a baby!  WHAT?  It came so quickly!  At 11:50 we started pushing.  The first time I pushed they could already see the baby's head.  Everyone kept saying "She has so much hair", which I already knew, since I had had indigestion since about 8 weeks.  By the third contraction they made me stop pushing so the doctor could get there in time. 

Three contractions!!!  We pushed for three contractions and then our little lady was ready to enter this world.  When it came to pushing I had no idea if I was doing it correctly!  I couldn't feel a thing!  NOTHING!  Like I said before, the stripping of my membrane the day before was the most painful part of the entire birthing process.  The doctor finally arrived and on the next contraction, at 12:18pm, Josie was born!  I had no idea it could happen that quickly or that easily!  It was amazing!  It was such a miracle that she was finally in our arms.  Brandon and I were joined in the delivery room by my Mom and best friend JoElla.  We felt blessed to have the opportunity to share the experience with both Mom and JoElla! 

Josie's birth was even more amazing than we ever could have imagined.  It was quick and for the most part, easy (although I have been advised that some women may not want to hear that....so I should keep the fact that it was somewhat painless to myself).  Josie is a true blessing to Brandon and I, just as we knew she would be.  She's a great baby so far and we can not get over how much we love her, already!  More pictures and stories of this little lady will be coming soon....I am sure!

Her arrival.....in photos

*Thank you, JoElla, for taking pictures of our sweet girl's special birthday!*

Well dang......

My baby counter says "0" days left, yet this child seems to show no inclination of leaving anytime soon.  We have set up our induction date for Monday, November 21st.  It's funny to think that that date could potentially be Josie's birthday (although I am secretly keeping my fingers crossed she decides to join us before then). 

Brandon and I are both anxious and excited.  And still a little in denial.  I have a feeling that when this process gets rolling or my water breaks, this calm exterior is going to crumble and I am going to completely freak out!  I don't really know what to expect.....and as of now, that is better than actually knowing.

Today is my last day of work.  Since we set up an induction date I had the option to stay on the rest of the week, but I decided a couple of days at home might do me some good.  I have started to notice a lack of patience with others and a little bit of a harsh attitude forming (more than normal, that is).  I am not sure if this is common for women who are very pregnant and hormonal and emotional....or if I am just finally at my wits end.  Brandon seems to have picked up any patience I have lost, as he is handling my snappiness very well.  Although I can guarantee that continued behavior like this would not bode well for our relationship! 

It's hard to believe that by Monday, our little lady will be here!  It's hard to believe we are about to be parents!  Who would have thought?

*It's funny to think that only 2 hours after I wrote this blog my water broke and labor began!  Just goes to show how quickly the situation can change!

9 days left....random thoughts followed by more emotions. This pregnancy should really end soon!

Are you sick of reading about my pregnancy in EVERY.SINGLE.BLOGPOST?  Yeah....me too.  Sorry.  I guess it's all I really have to talk about right now, considering there is a giant human child growing inside of me.  The good news is.....With this baby arriving any day now, this may be the last (or close to last) pregnancy post you have to read.  If that is not enough to satisfy you....then, please, feel free to stop reading right now. 

Now...some final comments on this pregnancy.......

I laugh at myself each morning for putting on my wedding band and engagement ring.  Even while putting them on, I know they won't stay on my finger for more than an hour or two before my ring finger is turning a shade of blue and I am desperately trying to get them off.  Every single day I have at least one moment of panic that I can't get the rings off my newly fattened sausage finger, you think I would learn to just not wear them.  Swelling.....thanks so much!

I haven't dilated more than 1 cm in the past three weeks.  I go back to the doctor tomorrow and am truly hoping for some good news.  Please, please, please don't let me be that lady who has to be induced at 1 cm.  This is my only true fear right now.  Being naive is what has gotten me through this pregnancy.

I don't want to go past my due date, for many reasons....but the biggest reason is because I don't want to have to spend Thanksgiving in the hospital.  How am I supposed to enjoy the smells of turkey, dressing, and homemade goodies from my mom when all I can really smell is antiseptic, cleaning products, and other gross hospital smells (and don't act like you don't know that hospitals smell funny).  I have 9 days left where it can be about me.....and I want Thanksgiving at home.......yeah, I know....it's disgustingly selfish (and trust me, I feel really awful for saying it).

Sometimes in the middle of the night when I wake up to pee, for a moment I totally forget that I am pregnant.  That moment fades the second I try to get out of bed.  These days, I resort to a Roll/Shift/Pull method.....and that's just to get me sitting up on the edge of the bed.  Actually getting out of the bed is a whole other method of it's own.  If this pregnancy has taught me anything, it's that core strength truly IS as important as all those trainers have been telling us for years.  Also....I don't ever want to be 30 pounds overweight (and not pregnant)....it's too much stress and strain on muscles and joints. 

I attempted to paint my toenails last night.  First off, I am shocked this didn't sent me into labor.  Second, I am in desperate need of a pedicure.  Every time I put on shoes with shoe laces I cuss because it's so freaking uncomfortable to get my feet close enough to pull off this maneuver.  I also say a prayer that they don't come untied during the day and I back the prayer up with double (and sometimes triple) knotting.  Shoe laces coming untied would be a complete disaster in my life right now.

I have some co-workers who ask me EVERY MORNING when I come to work "You are here? (yes...they phrase it like a question)  So, you didn't have the baby yet?"  I won't even go into the responses that run through my head with these questions.  I will tell you, it takes everything inside of me to not be a total and complete smart ass.  EVERYTHING.

Nothing warms my heart more than listening to Brandon tell me how excited he is to meet his daughter and how much he can't wait to see her and hold her in his arms.  I know, already, that he will be an amazing father.  He already loves his little girl so much!  It gives me confidence and hope that together we will be good parents, even when we have NO clue as to what we are doing!

Having said that, Brandon is requesting that Josie arrive during the evening of Friday, November 18th.  Apparently there is good stuff on TV that night and if she would be so inclined as to grant him this one itsy bitsy tiny favor, he feels as though the time in the hospital could be spent wisely with television programming, Football games, etc.  I laugh every time he tells me this, but at the same time, I have a sinking feeling he may get his wish.   Wouldn't that be nuts? 

Sometimes I forget how lucky we are.  Not only that we are getting ready to become a family of three, but that this has been such an easy, stress-free pregnancy.  I forget that this child is our miracle.  Too easily I forget that it can be incredibly rare to get pregnant the first go around with IVF ICSI!  Sometimes I forget the year of pain, emotional and physical, that Brandon and I both endured to get here.  Too often I forget that this could be our one chance at a biological child.  Somewhere along the way we went from the couple struggling with infertility to your average, every day parents-to-be.  I have to say, I prefer that latter.  At some point we will have to go back to being that couple who struggles with infertility (if we want more children), but for now....we are soaking up the idea that we are no more than your typical, naive, scared, clueless, every-day, run of the mill, parents to be!  And for once.....we are completely comfortable with each of those adjectives!!!  Infertility can be your dark secret, but Brandon and I have felt good about sharing our struggles and concerns along the way.  I truly hope that some how, in the end, the blog posts that focused more on what we were going through will help someone else in their struggle.  I know just writing about it often helped me. 

My final thoughts on this matter (for now)....Josie Noelle is our blessing.   I get emotional and teary-eyed every time I think about the fact that we get to meet her in just a few short days.  No amount of swelling or weight gain or pain will ever change the fact that we would do this a thousand times over if it meant we got to go through this journey again!  Every year we add things to our list of all that we are thankful for.....this year, our list will grow by leaps and bounds!  This year, our greatest gift and blessing will be meeting our daughter and finally telling her how long we have waited for her, and how much we love her!