Don't ask my advice....at least not yet

Yeah...I am a bad blogger lately, I know.  I can't seem to find time to go to the bathroom these days, so writing blogs is definitely not on the top of my list.  But....Daddy has Miss Josie, so this may be a good time to get some words on paper.

The only thing I am worse at than blogging is Christmas shopping.  I have every intention to start (and finish) my Christmas shopping tomorrow, December 20th.  What?  Better late than never, right?

I have been a mother now for nearly 5 weeks, so obviously I am a wealth of Mommy-Knowledge.  In reality I have learned quite a bit in the short amount of time Josie has been here, but unfortunately, most of it is about myself and not about mothering.  I love how everyone has some piece of advice to offer new moms.  Honestly, I have appreciated most of the advice I have received, but I find it funny that so many people want to throw out their two cents.  I am sure it will be no time at all that I will be telling other new moms to sleep when the baby sleeps.

I don't like this piece of advice (which everyone already knows).  For most functioning adults sleeping throughout the day is hard.  Yes, at first the baby sleeps during the day quite a bit, but after only a couple of weeks they start to stay awake for longer periods of time.  Also.....my only "me free time"  is when this child is sleeping.  So if I want to shower (ha...right) or eat or fold clothes or WHATEVER it needs to be done while she is in a milk coma.  Sleeping during the day has become kind of a joke for me (although I won't lie, the occasional nap is totally necessary, for prolonged sanity).

A lot of women suffer from postpartum syndrome after giving birth.  Thankfully I did not have any baby blues.  I did, however, suffer from a new syndrome that I created all on my own, it was called "post-pissed-tum syndrome".  Basically everything my sweet husband did annoyed me and I would get pissed at him.  I think it was honestly because I was bitter that he was getting to sleep at night.  Nothing flared post-pissed-tum more than a 3am feeding while listening to my husband snore in his blissful slumber.  I also believe it was a bi-product of me not getting enough sleep (should have listened to all those people who told me to sleep when the baby was sleeping...humph).  Although my condition is not completely cured, I will say it has gotten better and I think I have stopped taking everything out on Brandon, because no matter how I try to spin it, it's not his fault that the Thursday night shows were re-runs last week (poor guy). 

People always say to be careful that boy babies don't pee on you.  No one warns the parents of baby girls.  I wish someone had warned me.  This child pees on me at least once a day.  I think it has become a game for her.  Just yesterday she came within millimeters of getting urine in my eye.  She may be trying to blind me....I am not sure yet.  All I know is I will be keeping a close eye on her from now on. 

Speaking of pee.....It's amazes me how quickly women can go from the pregnant lady crazy-urgent need to pee to this new mom pee phase where I swear you can go all day long with a full bladder, but no urgency to go and absolutely no likelihood of peeing on yourself (and yes, I realize this blog talks a lot about pee.  I don't know why, but I may start looking into this).  People always say they are fascinated by the human brain, not me....I am truly fascinated by the female bladder. 

Everything in my life now revolves around a 3-4 hour time schedule (Josie's feeding schedule).  If I want to go to Target, I have to plan my outing around when the last time Josie ate was and when she will eat again.  It's amazing how quickly a day can pass when working in 3 hour increments.  There are some days where I swear I can't tell you anything productive that I did, yet I hadn't stopped all day long.  I sooo look forward to Josie's feeding schedule extending, even slightly, and then maybe I can have more than one destination during outings. 

I joke around a lot, but truth be told....being a new mom is freaking amazing!  Josie is the coolest little baby and I am constantly in awe of her.  She is mellow and happy and incredible!  Every day is something new and exciting.  Don't get me wrong, there are some nights where all I want her to do is sleep an extra 45 minutes (and I am not above begging a 4 1/2 week old to go back to sleep), but most of the time...I just want to be near her...she's that awesome!  And she's all ours...and we know how blessed we are already!

And now....a couple of new photos.....

One of our first captured smiles!

Little lady in a big crib! 

 Daddy's first time getting to feed Josie

So much stuff......Is this normal?

I am starting to feel a tad bit overwhelmed by all there is to do with this whole "having a baby" business.

Here is a breakdown of the things that will likely drive me to insanity in the coming weeks....

First and foremost: the inevitable is approaching. I had sort of thought that if I didn't think about actually having to give birth to a child, it wouldn't actually happen. Like the saddest form of denial. Maybe if I don't think about it, it won't be a big deal. Right, because I am sure those who just pretend it's not happening don't find themselves the least bit stressed out in the delivery room. But....my body is growing rapidly and what was once a baby baby bump now resembles a beach ball, all spelling impending doom for my lady bits....as this giant child will eventually have to come out of me...ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

And believe it or not....this is the least of my worries (at least for now).

Second stress: Breastfeeding. I have every intention of breastfeeding Baby Josie. I know breastfeeding isn't easy. I have friends who have, thankfully, been completely honest with me about what to expect. I assumed it would be hard as hell, but after several weeks it would (eventually) be worth it. There is no part of me that actually believes baby and I will be pros at it right away and it won't ever hurt. Thankfully I am not that naive! BUT....

Then someone suggested I buy a couple of books. Dang it....reading has NEVER lead to anything good. I started reading yesterday and let me just tell you what I learned from this freaking book so far....
*1. Breastfeeding should be easy for new moms, all I have to do is have skin-to-skin contact immediately after giving birth and then miraculously my new baby will latch right on (hmm...right?)
*2. The only tool you really need for breastfeeding (other than breasts, obviously) is confidence! (OH Great! Because this book has done a FINE job of shaking my confidence. Now I am ruined.)
*3. Don't be afraid to breastfeed in public. People don't really mind and they really can't see that much of your boob, so don't worry about covering up. (HA! Oh my)
*4. Not breastfeeding isn't the end of the world, it simply means you are a terrible mom and your child will grow up to resent you and probably rob a bank.

This is why I haven't read any birthing/parenting/breastfeeding books thus far. Ignorance is bliss (as is denial). This book has me freaked out. And obviously I am being overly dramatic (obviously) because I can be...this is my blog and I am pregnant...so back off.

And finally...my last stress (which is actually two stresses in one...a mega stress): Baby Crap. Not baby poop (although I am sure that will be a real joy), but this insane push from society for new parents to own every little tinker or trinket for your infant child. I am NOT registering for a pack-n-play, please please please stop shaking your head at me and giving me dirty looks that say "You are a failure as a mother, already". For starters, our house is not large and we don't have a ton of space for kiddie toys what with the meth lab and all (we don't make meth, mom, I promise). But seriously, how much of an affect do you think NOT having a pack-n-play will actually have on my child in the long run, be honest.

In fact, had it not been for our amazing neighbor who gave us all sorts of cool stuff her daughter had, poor Josie would have been totally without and probably suffering.

The truth is, we don't have a big house and the nursery is the smallest room of all. Which leads to the second half of my megastresser.....I think I am starting to nest already (is it too early??? it sure seems like this is happening too early. maybe I should buy a book about it). I want her nursery clean. I want all the baby stuff figured out and decluttered (which I recognize is not a word) and I want all the other junk boxed and put in the attic (my poor husband...I know what he will probably be doing this weekend). Unfortunately I know if I get it cleaned and figured out now, it will only be in chaos again in a month after a baby shower. But, not at least seeing a form of the final product on her nursery is driving me nuts. It's like a little gnat that won't stop buzzing my ear.

I don't handle stress all that well (if you hadn't figured that out) and I am just hoping and praying that these are normal, pregnancy, first time mom stresses. Otherwise, poor Josie may be in for a bumpy ride!

*The book didn't actually say these things quite like this. I am sure it will be really helpful in the end (hopefully).*