She gets older every day. The same way we all do. But as she gets older she gains so much more than the normal wrinkles and grey hair adults dread. As she gets older she gains her independence and newly learned skills. Every day we inch closer to toddler-ville, leaving infant-land far behind. I am convinced we will be those unfortunate parents who have a child that walks at 9 months. And although we would be thrilled for our little pumpkin to transition from crawling to walking at a young-er than normal age, part of me has been secretly hoping she sticks with crawling for a bit longer.
Josie now sleeps through the night on a regular basis. This is not necessarily new to us or her, but what has changed is that we no longer feed her during the night. I am sure you are thinking “Well, duh, if she is sleeping through the night then you can’t feed her”. But what I am really saying is that even if she does wake up and cry out, we let her cry for a bit and put herself back to sleep (thank Heavens for self-soothing skills). This is opposed to me dragging from the bed to nurse her at the first sounds of stirring.
This is going to seem crazy to very new parents, but there is a huge part of my heart that hurts knowing I won’t be feeding her in the middle of the night anymore. In fact, I won’t be nursing her at all anymore. Eight months of breastfeeding and my body made that tough decision for me. I basically woke up one morning and the spigot had been turned off. This lifestyle that had so many times become my burden was over. And weirdly, it was heartbreaking for me.
There is truly something special about the bond of middle of the night feedings. Sure, there were some nights where I probably slept through half the feeding or mornings where I was so tired I swore I wouldn’t make it through another day. But I survived, as most parents do. There is something so comforting and sweet about a barely awake baby. For those brief moments, she was still and quiet, along with the rest of the house and the rest of the world. I could feel her breath and actually take in her sweet baby scent. This was that special time where I memorized every feature on her face and studied her sweet hands and feet down to every last detail. This was that special time where I told her I loved her a thousand times, but never actually spoke a word. This is time I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world.
Bottom line: I don’t ever want to forget those moments. The times I had with just Josie and I. Those are the sweet moments I want to remember so that when she is grown and experiencing her first baby I can say “Hang in there, honey. It only gets better.” And I will know with complete confidence that nothing could be truer!
I had, in my head, an idea of how I had hoped Jo's first 4th of July would go. It was something along the lines of baths, feedings and pj's complete, followed by a later than usual bedtime so we could sit in the drive way and watch the fireworks. I was excited to see Jo's reaction to the fireworks, whether good or bad. And naturally, I was excited to document her first 4th through photos and eventually a blog (ahem).
Ahh...one can only dream of making their child's first 4th this memorable.
The older Jo gets the more we realize our "ideas" of how an evening or event should go may or may not go as planned. There were a couple of things I really did not factor into my "plan" for Jo. First....the wretched heat. Wednesday was yet another triple digit day in East Tennessee.....yuck. Second....fireworks generally don't start until after it gets dark, which means keeping Jo up past 9pm. Which is nearly impossible. Third......7 1/2 month olds probably don't really seem to care about fireworks (hmmm).
Or, at least I assume 7 1/2 month olds don't really care about fireworks. I really wouldn't know as we never even got close to finding out. About 6pm on Wednesday evening Brandon and I noticed that Jo seemed to be pretty warm. By 6:45 we checked her temperature and sure enough she had a fever. Although I did not realize that a baby isn't considered to have a fever until their temperature is above 100.5...so technically at 100.3 she didn't have a REAL fever. But, don't go telling that to first time parents experiencing first time fevers/sicknesses. You might as well have sounded the alarms in the Bice household. How is it that parents who seem to stay fairly calm and collected 90 % of the time (at least we hope) can fall apart in a moment over something as simple as a low grade fever? Although, I will say, in reality we stayed pretty cool......for the most part. So our 4th of July ended with baby Tylenol, extra cuddles and an earlier than normal bedtime for Miss Josie. As it turns out, our little sweet potato has her first ear infection. Both Brandon and I agree that making it to nearly 8 months of age without any ear infections is pretty darn great for ANY daycare baby!
On a brighter note....
Brandon and I are so excited to spend some time with his family soon! His sisters and aunt/uncle/cousins have never met Jo and it will be so incredible to introduce her to all of them. We also have a new niece we have never met! We so look forward to this time with them! It's hard to believe we haven't seen some of his family in two years! Two years can seem like a lifetime when families are growing and changing so quickly.
Oh my gosh....This is so unexpected. Such an honor!
I would like to accept this award on behalf of anyone still reading this blog (*chirp chirp...those are my cricket noises). First, I would like to thank the 6 1/2 month old child who consumes 99.9% of my free time. Thanks, honey...LOVE You! Next, my job! Can't forget the reason I am away from my home and child all day everyday. And finally (I am so taken aback by this beautiful award) writers block (*read......I am sure you don't want to ALWAYS read about my kid and I can't come up with anything else to write about)!
That being said......
I can't believe it's already June! Not only June, but nearly mid-June. Next week our kiddo will be 7 months old. What the heck? She's pretty darn amazing and we are cherishing every day with her. This past weekend she started crawling. It was an awesome (yet sort of sad) sight. She isn't a graceful crawler quite yet, she is still rocking the army crawl. But, the point is, she can get from destination A to destination B without any help or hesitation. Which truly means she is into everything from the dog's toys to our entertainment center. Guess it's time to put away those knives and firecrackers we normally leave laying around the house. She loves to "walk" with assistance and I can't help but think she will be walking on her own long before her first birthday. She has been eating baby cereal for a couple of months and is now also having baby food (either homemade with my trusty new baby food maker or the Stage 1 baby foods you buy in the store). This weekend we plan to let her try "puffs". Yet another milestone!
This blog isn't the only thing that has had to take a back seat to the baby. Everything from the dogs to our yard work to our once thriving existing social life now play second fiddle to our little mobile bundle of joy. I am not sure there is any true way to maintain pre-baby lifestyles once the little ones arrive. You can try to keep your normal schedule, but let's be honest......life changes. Things that you thought were so important before no longer make blips on your radar. And the hobbies you once loved (blogging, running, drinking) can no longer be considered hobbies now as they are done with such infrequency.
As our peanut grows, so will our sacrifices. As a parent, I would sacrifice just about anything in the world to hear this child scream with excitement and watch her little body squirm across the floor to me. I cannot think of any joy or hobby great than her!
But....here is my vow.....to myself and you (chirp chirp)
I vow to remain an individual and not just baby's mommy. I will try to keep up with this blog more often. And although most of my posts will be about our peanut (let's be honest...they will pretty much ALL be about her), I will try to do a better job of including posts about other subjects. Although I will admit here and now, no other subject will be nearly as cute!
Brandon and I are currently in the process of putting together our Will. Not sure why I even say "currently in the process", as there is hardly anything current about this process (other than the fact that I FINALLY made the appointment). We have been talking about putting together a Will since we found out we were going to be parents. And here we are, with a 6 month old (I KNOW...how is that possible?) and no Will.
I told Brandon this week that it had to be in place before we leave for vacation next month. God Forbid something terrible should happen to Brandon and I and our little peanut end up in the care of the state (I don't even know if that is how it works, but I would really rather not find out). I have seen movies about little red-headed orphans. And although those kids sure can carry a tune and organize themselves quite nicely, I don't think we want Jo meeting any "Miss Hannigans" anytime soon. Although I will say if there is a Daddy Warbucks anywhere in her future, hopefully it will be her biologically Daddy (fingers crossed....LOL).
Thinking about who you want to raise your children should you ever die in a freak accident is slightly depressing. Also...it's not easy. Thankfully we are NOT in a situation of picking the lesser of two evils (or maybe I am just saying this because one of you is going to end up with our child(ren) and I am desperate to kiss up to you now, so that you don't turn our sweet peanut(s) into your house maids). But, in all reality this choice has been hard for Brandon and I, but we both take comfort in knowing that any of the people we have to choose from are responsible, loving, wonderful people and would make great caregivers of Jo (again with the kissing up). I can only imagine the stress that comes to those who don't have good family members/friends to fall back on. I bet in those instances Miss Hannigan looks more and more like a nice lady!
Do people put dogs in wills? I know some lunatics leave all their money to their dogs, but what does a millionaire dog do with no owners? I suppose the least of my worries should be our dogs (especially if Jo ends up where she is supposed to be) but I can't help but wonder where they could go? Not many people are equipped to take on two full grown (and lovable) pit bulls. I almost feel like we should lump them together like a package deal. For instance "Hey...the good news is we have decided we want you to get Jo if anything terrible should happen to us. The even better news is when you buy one baby, you get two dogs for free! Yay. Good luck with that!" Or maybe we should leave the child(ren) to one family and the dogs to another? Wouldn't that be a slap in the face. "So, we decided NOT to leave you the kid(s), but good news, you get the dogs! Good luck with that!"
So, basically someone in our family is about to win the potential baby/dog lottery. Although, since the prize for this lottery is so wonderful (naturally, what with it being our baby and our dogs) we may not be releasing the name of the winner. This would be in an attempt to ensure no freak accidents occur (I am watching my back). In all seriousness, I am relieved that we are finally going to take care of our Will situation and I know it will give me some peace for the future. If you do not already have a Will in place or you have not thought about one and you are a parent, you should truly start thinking. Even if you just write down some thoughts on a napkin and get it notarized or have someone other than yourself sign it (I really don't know if this is correct, you should probably look into it more than just following my lazily non-researched directions), that has to be better than having nothing at all, right?
And now, as part of the contract of my motherly duties, I have to share this video with you. But first, allow me to give you the back story.....
I had been taking video of Jo when Dixie, our female dog, hit my hand and the camera phone. This made the flash come on. I tried to start a new video, one WITHOUT the interruption of our dog when I realized the flash was on. As you will see in this video.....turning the flash off was my biggest concern....
As you can tell...she was FINE and not phased by the little spill. For whatever reason I can NOT stop laughing at this video. I find it hilarious. Does that make me a bad mommy? I sure hope not! If we can't laugh at our own children then why do we have babies to begin with?
Have you ever actually seen anyone squeeze blood out of a turnip? No? Of course not. Don't you know how hard it is to squeeze blood out of a turnip?
Well....that's sort of how I am feeling about using the breast pump these days. I am so over it right now I could scream. Don't get me wrong....I love nursing the baby. I love that bonding time we have together and I especially love all of the good things that her body gets from my milk. I also love that breastfeeding is free and oddly enough, I love those middle of the night feedings where she sleepily wraps her little hand around my arm while she nurses (seriously...melts my heart). I don't, however, love having to lug my pump to and from work each day. I don't love having to take a minimum of 30 minutes out of my day to go pump, in a room that is not my office and barely private. Also....it's cold when the A/C is on!
I especially don't love those days where I swear I pump for 20+ minutes and only get 3 ounces. I wish I could understand the reasoning behind mysterious pumping sessions, but I cannot. Some days I only pump for 15 minutes and end up with 8-10 ounces. Some days it's like trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip and all I want to do is throw a fit in the conference room floor (this is my "not so private or personal" lactation space). And yes, I realize the saying "squeeze blood out of a turnip" is not being used in proper context, but this blog is honestly anything BUT proper.
This is just so frustrating. As of right now I send the baby to school with two breast milk bottles and one formula bottle. My body should be producing enough milk that I can send her with 3 breast milk bottles each day, but, apparently, it refuses to cooperate. And it seems like each day my milk production goes down little by little. This week I am struggling just to come up with enough milk to send two bottles. I fear that if I send her with anymore formula she may revolt and turn that school upside down, because BOY does she HATE formula.
Am I doing something wrong? I realize there actually is a breast feeding handbook, so I cannot use the excuse that breastfeeding doesn't come with a handbook. But, I am much too lazy to read this book, also....it sounds really boring. Maybe someone out there has a better idea of what to do? Or maybe this is just how it goes for some women. Maybe, for us, I won't be the one deciding when it's time to stop breastfeeding, maybe my body will make that decision for me. Geez...who knows....
They say it takes a village to raise a child. I need a village of lactating women! Anyone know where I can find this PARTICULAR village?
Parenthood = the land where the simplest of tasks become bitter sweet.
She's growing! And just like everyone who has ever raised a child has declared, she is indeed growing too quickly.
Just today I packed up more of her 3 month clothing. The pants she has been wearing since she was about 8 weeks old now resemble carpi's on her little baby legs. I realize she is nearly 5 months old, so the shock of her not fitting into her 3 month pants wore off fairly quickly, but it's still hard to believe!
She is a rolling machine! She now rolls all over the place when on the floor. Sometimes right after I lay her down on her back I will look back and find her like this........
And yes, she is always so proud of herself! Her rolling has gotten frequent enough that we had to remove the bumpers from her crib.
It's just crib bumpers and 3 month pants, but it's these constant reminders that our little peanut is growing! She isn't just growing, she's thriving and learning and developing cool new skills (even if it is just rolling over). Although we realize these milestones are tiny in the big scheme of her journey in life, they are bittersweet for us. Because this adorable little peanut will only be this little for so long. Soon she'll be crawling, and walking, and talking (and since she is so obviously advanced in the world of infants I am sure these skills will come along very soon)!
I never want to forget these days, yet I can't wait to see what each new day holds for her! I am so grateful to call myself her Mommy, because she is truly amazing!
Yep............. CLEARLY she's advanced (at least in hand gestures and hair)!
Obviously I have been a terrible blogger lately. Between work and an infant baby and training for the upcoming half marathon in Nashville at the end of April.....I have plenty of excuses. So just pick the excuse that makes you feel the best and makes me look the least like a slacker!
I survived the trip to Indiana and Chicago for St. Paddy's Day. It was a tough weekend (being away from the peanut) but we had so much fun romping around the city and spending time with some great friends. Here are just a few of the pictures I took in Chicago......
Brandon and I met in the Fall of 2006. We got engaged in beautiful Chicago in December of 2007 and married on the beach in Hilton Head on September 19, 2008. We started trying to get pregnant in 2009 and learned after several months that our only option was IVF ICSI. In 2011, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl into our hearts! In 2013, we went through 2 rounds of IVF with our FE's (frozen embryos), but were unsuccessful both rounds. This is the story of our journey through life and parenthood and our continued struggles with infertility!
