Friday, September 24, 2010

Sign me up for the neighborhood watch....

This week Brandon and I had new floors put in the house. Out with the carpet (thank you, Lord) and in with the hardwood floors (actually laminate, but you truly would not know the difference). We have had workers in our house since Monday and have been living under a new found layer of dust. I say new because it simply settled onto of the "old" layer that has been sitting there since the last time I dusted. And no one really knows when that occurred (or IF it ever occurred).

All day yesterday I was pumping myself up for a night of relaxation. I made a plan for when I arrived home from work. That plan included:
1. run the dogs for 5-10 minutes (it's hot out...they can't take much more than that)
2. Clean the kitchen table, coffee table, chairs (both the new and old dust)and put them back in their regular spots.
3. change into pajamas within 20 minutes of arriving home from work (I had planned to work fast)
4. drink a minimum of 2 glasses of wine (the real plan starts here)
5. feel free to skip steps 1-2 and go directly to step 3

As I sped home in anticipation of running my dogs and cleaning the house (right)... I pulled into the neighborhood only to see my dreaded obstacle.... It read like this-
"Neighborhood meeting, tonight at the pond, 6:30PM"

NOOOOOOOOOOO....*breathe* Noooooooooooo. Maybe everyone feels this way about HOA meetings? Maybe just the people in my neighborhood? We don't have an established HOA (yet) and it's total chaos. For me, it's funny to watch, but I am sure some homeowners find it frustrating and obnoxious. Before I moved in with Brandon there was an apparent fist fight (or close to it) at one the meetings. I am not going to lie....I go to the meetings in hopes of a repeat performance, and I go home a little disappointed when it never happens (fingers crossed for future meetings). Although I don't get too hot and bothered by these meetings, I was not pleased to find my evening activities would be interrupted by overly serious homeowners.

I am a creative girl, if nothing else (total lie), so I felt the need to somehow intertwine my scheduled and unscheduled events. And by creative girl, I mean classically tacky. I like the expression classically tacky because I feel like with me, these two words might possibly fit. Although in reality I am aware they should never be in the same sentence together. In record time I accomplished steps 1 and 2 on my list. In an attempt to uphold the "classic" part of my classically tacky, I skipped step 3. No one needs to see me in my pajamas. Classic.

In good ole tacky fashion I poured a glass of wine into a paper "to go" cup and marched my happy butt right to the meeting. Yep...that's me, drinking a cup of wine and heckling (under my breath) those neighbors who are now arguing with each other. At first I was worried my neighbors would be judging me and my decision to drink and laugh at them. Then I realized...if they know me or have ever met me or even seen me...chances are pretty good they have already judged me. I look poor...what can I say? It happens. But...I was quickly delighted to find people applauding (not really) my choice to bring booze. One guys said "I am missing happy hour for this?" Amateur. To which I proudly replied "I brought mine with me!" Ahh...jealously all around. Or at least that's the story I am sticking with. The good news is when the cup was empty...it was time to go! And believe it or not, they didn't vote me onto the HOA board. Shocker, right? Mission accomplished!

*I have to laugh at myself because I spelled classically wrong every time I typed it. Classic.

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