Am I insane?

I can hardly believe it.  I must be out of my mind.
But...

This weekend I am leaving this sweet face....

In the care of this man.....

To go here.....

But, since it will be St. Patrick's Day, it will look more like this....

Let's hope this doesn't happen......

This weekend a couple of friends and I are packing our bags and heading up to Indiana to spent some time with our friends the Tyree's.  While there, we plan to scoot on over to Chicago on Saturday for a little St. Patty's Day festivities!  I am starting to think I might be crazy running off to IN for a long weekend and leaving behind my sweet 4 month old Peanut.  But, contrary to the above picture, my sweet husband is very capable and willing and I know Peanut will be in good hands.  Although I may sob half the way up 75-North. 

And although it will be tough, I would be telling a BOLD FACED lie if I didn't admit to being totally pumped about not only celebrating St. Patty's Day with some great friends, but also celebrating in the beautiful city of Chicago! 

This will be a weekend of many firsts!  And as long as we all survive, without criminal records, it should be lots of fun!





Overly Obvious Survey

MSN's home page this morning is showing a tab called "10 Things Never to Say to a Working Mom".  Here are those 10 things:

1. It must be hard missing all those special moments every day.
2. I suppose it's smart that you're working. You know, in case your husband leaves you some day.
3. I'm surprised you went back to work. Your husband seems so successful;
4. It's cute when they call your nanny "Mama."
5. I just love my kids too much to leave them during the day.
6. Did you see Dateline? The one with the hidden camera in the day care?
7. I could never let someone else raise my children. But that's just me!
8. I hated my mom because she was never home after school like everyone else's mom.
9. You must feel so guilty.
10. I wish I were as laid-back as you and could just let the housework go.


People don't really say these things, do they? It's like that myth that strangers will constantly want to touch your pregnant belly.  I never had a single stranger approach me with outstretched germ infested, stranger hands (although that may be more of a testament to my "don't you dare" stare and facial disapproval).  So truthfully, are people really stupid enough to say these things?  And if so, isn't it a little less frowned upon in the judicial system to attack stupid people?  I mean come on?  Can a judge really side with an idiot?  In the event someone should say one of these things to me, let's hope not.

I really love #2!  And just to rub a little salt in that open, festering wound of guilt and sadness working moms naturally harbor, #4 and #5 are particularly fabulous.  Truthfully all of these come across like a swift kick to the groin, which makes me think no one in their right mind is really dense enough to say them.

If you see these phrases and think "I have said something similar to this in the past to the working mom I know" and you didn't get socked in the jaw (be thankful), just be aware that these are completely inappropriate and 100% out of line.  Also know, if you say them to me, you better have a fight or flight reflect or be really good at "duck and cover".  Because best case scenario you will get the tongue lashing (and not the good kind) of a life time and worst case scenario....it gets ugly.

Learning the life of a working mom

I started back to work on Monday morning, which means Josie started daycare (which from this point forward will be referred to as "school").  I thought for sure I would be the mom they have to escort out to the parking lot for upsetting the other children with loud sobs and sloppy wailing.  I was wrong.  I plopped Josie down in a Boppy and she was laughing and giggling before I could even stand up.  She was perfectly fine....and as it turned out, so was I.  Although I will tell  you I rushed to pick her up that afternoon and was so happy to hold her in my arms. 

Although we aren't quite into the groove of school days yet, I have already found some important pros and cons of leaving Josie during the day and returning to work. 

The Pro's of Josie going to school/Mommy going to work:
-Josie learns to socialize with other children
-I get to socialize with other adults
-I get to stop using my "baby talk" voice all day long
-I change fewer poopy diapers
-Josie sleeps like a champ at night because she is no longer taking really long naps during the day
-Josie strengthens her immune system
-Josie and Mommy learn how to combat attachment issues (although there really weren't any on her part, yet)
-Mommy has to shower daily and look professional (I would guess this makes Brandon pretty happy)


The Con's of Josie going to school/Mommy going to work:
-I don't get to hang out with my little peanut all day
-sickness.  I give it one week before she has one or more of the following....cold, flu, ear infection, RSV
-no more watching Ellen :(
-having to pump at work (this is tricky, especially since my office does not have a door)
-I have to do work (I know....who would have thought?)
-Mommy has to shower daily and look professional

In the end, even though it's hard, I think Brandon and I are currently making the best choice for our little family.  I would love to be a stay-at-home-mom, but it just doesn't fit into our plans right now.  Plus, I would really need a strict schedule.  By the end of my maternity leave I was getting tired of just sitting around the house (and please know each day included the constant care of a child, house cleaning, laundry, and general food prep for dinner....so there was not a whole lot of "sitting" going on).  Although I do not consider myself to be "organized" by any means, the past 3 months taught me that I need some sort of structure in my day to day life, otherwise....it all goes to heck in a hand basket (and I wear sweat pants all day long)! 

So far the schedule of balancing baby and work has been pretty rigid.  Each morning I try to figure out how to get up, shower, and ready for work before I wake her up.  Once she's up I have to get her fed and ready to go.  Thankfully (starting this morning), Brandon will be dropping Josie off at school each day.  This will help me keep my morning somewhat sane.  Then I head off to work, where I have to occasionally take a 15-30 minute break to pump.  Then I pick Josie up from daycare.  We go home, she eats, we eat, bath time, more Josie eating, baby bed time, bottle making time (from the day's pumping) and then bedtime for Brandon and I!  Somewhere in there we manage to have a conversation or two, maybe even a kiss hello or good night, and a 3am feeding!  I know working moms have been making it happen for years and years, we just have to find our routine! It's somewhat exhausting (and it's only the first week) but I keep telling myself how great it will be to have Josie all to ourselves this weekend.  This mama is definitely "working for the weekend". 

Hopefully we will continue to see the pro's of our decision outweigh the con's.  Hopefully I can keep the guilt of dropping my child off with "strangers" each day at bay.  I look forward to what the future holds for Miss Josie, especially as she develops new skills and learns at school!  But, mostly, right now....I look forward to 5pm each afternoon. The time where I can pack up my things, leave work, and rush home to see my little peanut!  Holding her and seeing her smile is certainly my reward for a long day's work!  I can not begin to tell you how much we love her! 

*I should note.....I truly have a new respect for working moms!  I have had just a small taste in what it is like to be "on the job" for 16+ hours a day.  I think about my co-workers and family members and friends who have managed this feat, somewhat effortlessly (at least in appearance) in awe.  And of course, it makes me think of my own mom (hero) who not only managed to be a working mom, but she did it with two kids (angels, naturally) and she also did it while working weird hospital hours.  And she did it perfectly, of course, as anyone can tell by how well adjusted and fanastic my brother and I managed to turn out (ha)!

Say it ain't so.....

I had a major scare today with the baby.....

Each day I try to put aside at least an hour to truly educate myself on current events, worldly matters and the economic/political crisis going on in this country.  This one hour period is commonly known around my house as The Ellen DeGeneres Show.  Seriously.....is there any better way to spend an hour each morning?  No.  There is not.

Today, as I was catching up on worldly matters Josie was getting upset.  I started to notice a pattern in her crankiness and the pattern was terribly alarming.  It seemed as though Josie was calm and easily soothed during each and every commercial break, but crying dramatically each time the show came back on.  Oh Lord, please say it ain't so?!  Is it possible my child may not like Ellen?  This may not even be my child.  Could she have gotten switched at the hospital with another newborn with more personality?? 

This is a picture of Josie during a commercial break.  Somewhat content.  I know what you are thinking, a baby with this kind of hair already has tons of personality.  You are correct.....she truly does.

And here she is once Ellen was back on.  Although she was not crying when this picture was taken (it's hard to take a photo of her when she cries as she tends to squirm) you can see the furrow of the brow, which leads quickly to tears.

We had a scare very similar to this about a month ago when we were in the car.  She cried through an entire Journey song and I nearly turned the car around and headed straight to the hospital to demand my "true" daughter. 

A daughter who doesn't like Ellen or Journey?  How will we ever share interests or conduct conversations?  Is this even possible?  Do we even share the same DNA?  I have a lot of work ahead of me to teach her the fine things in life.  We will start tomorrow with an hour of current events and hot topics, followed by an hour of musical education.

Who knows.....maybe it was just gas.

Hair today, gone tomorrow....

One of the little talked about secrets of being pregnant is the amazing effect it has on a woman's hair.  I don't know if its the prenatal vitamins or the pregnant body itself, but being pregnant can do wonders for the hair.  I realize this may not be a big deal to you thick haired women (hmph), but for us stringy, straggly, thinned hair individuals, being pregnant is like 9 months of living the life of a stranger.  A stranger with salon worthy hair!

During the pregnancy I don't think I shed a single hair, seriously.  To my husband's delight he wasn't constantly picking my long hairs off his clothing or wiping it from the bathroom sink.  I am pretty sure that all of the hairs that were saved from the bristles of my hairbrush somehow graced the scalp of my child, too.  Like some sort of hair club for fetuses.....a regenerating hair club type of thing.   

Considering the fact that I was born bald, I find this hilarious (for so many reason, really).  But, seriously, there are kindergartners with less hair than this.  She was born with a head full of hair and it seems to be the fastest growing thing on her body.  She's two months old and still a peanut, but if you count the length/weight of her hair she might actually bust through to the upper 25th percentile for her age (which she has yet to do....seriously...she's a peanut).  With this hair she often gets mistaken for a child of a much older age, 10 or even 12 weeks!

Obviously I don't have any solid proof to back up this "fetus regenerating hair" theory....I am not a scientist for crying out loud.  Which, by the way, the only reason I am not a scientist, one of several reasons why I am not a scientist, just the tip of the iceberg of why I am not a scientist or business major, is because I could never pass Statistics (dang stats). 

So...now that the baby is here (and flaunting her fabulous hair) my hair is falling out faster than I can say Rogaine for Women.  It's looks like my privileged life of a thick mane has passed.  How quickly I forgot how annoying it was to have my long hairs following me around everywhere.  Hanging off my clothing and clogging the sink of my bathroom.  Gone are the days of pretending I am in a Suave Commercial (because my thicker hair looked both practical AND affordable, not like those fancy salon shampoo commercials).  Gone are the days of running my fingers through my hair without feeling like I could weave a sweater with what was left on my hand. 

Just so we are clear.....this is not me.  I have hazel eyes.

Returning back to the ranks of those with thin, stringy hair has been hard.  It's time to reinvest in shampoos that promise to thicken my locks.  It's time to start practicing the phrase "I am not just a spokesperson, I am also a client"!  If nothing else, when Josie grows up, she will probably have plenty of hair to make a wig for her poor Mama.  It's either that or prolonged pregnancy for the rest of my life (and I am pretty sure Brandon isn't on board for that)!

So live it up pregnant ladies and those with naturally thick hair.  For now, you have the spotlight (back)....but one of these days I will return to your special world.  Thick, full, beautiful, shed-free scalp and all!

Sharing pictures

I am certain my facebook friends are sick of seeing picture after picture of Miss Josie.  So...I have decided to post some pictures on the blog.  This way I get to satisfy my addiction of showing her off to the world, without jeopardizing facebook friends' sanity! 

My best friend JoElla made the cutest Santa suit for Josie.  Here are some photos of Josie in her outfit!  Seriously....I dare anyone to not say "aweee" while looking at these pictures. 

Cute little feet!

Our sweet little lady turned two months old today!  I took a few pictures in the cute onesies with month by month stickers given to her by her Aunt Tiffany!  Here is a picture from her one month birthday and a couple more from her second month birthday. 

You can see her baby acne here.  So glad that cleared up!

The bear is for size reference.

She looks less than thrilled!

She looks so much like her daddy here!

Hopefully posting these pictures on the blog will salvage some friendships!  I guess when you stay at home all day long and only have the little peanut to interact with, it is hard to not go overboard with the photos.  And....like most moms, I naturally think my kiddo is super cute and everyone should see be subjected to her royal cuteness!

Living large......

A couple of days ago I had to go through Josie's closest and box up approximately 95% of her newborn outfits.  It was kind of a sad milestone.  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like we were sending her off to college sad, but it still bring to my attention the fact that our little peanut is growing every day.  Although, I will say, it was pretty nice to get nearly 7 weeks of wear out of our newborn clothing. 

Going through Josie's closest had me making other sad observations in my own closest....I am still fat.  Okay, maybe fat isn't the most accurate word, but I am still a little chubby.  I can only fit into one pair of pre-pregnancy jeans and when I button them (which I am pretty proud of the fact that I can actually get them buttoned).....I have a VERY attractive muffin top...yuck.  I had been getting extended wear out of my maternity jeans, but I am in a weird transitional size.  My maternity jeans have built in full size belly bands and since there isn't a giant belly to hold them up.....they fall down and I spend most of my time while wearing them pulling them up.  It's fun....and terribly sexy.  So...maternity pants are too big, pre-preggo pants too small.....which means only one thing....wear sweatpants, pajamas, and yoga pants all the time. ..........go buy new pants.  Yep...as much as I hated to do it, I broke down and bought two new pair of pants to wear until I can get back in my old clothing.  It was sort of my only choice, considering I was about two seconds away from having a mental breakdown if I had to deal with the muffin top or sexy saggy pants another day. 

Having said all of that, please enjoy this picture of the reason for my crazy shaped body.  How cute is she with her little receding hairline?  Love this kid!!!  She certainly makes every pound and muffin top totally worth it!

Josie- 6 1/2 weeks old