Am I on fire?

We ordered yet another IVF drug this afternoon. I had to order it from a pharmacy in Colorado. The pharmacy is called Barron Pharmacy. Barron (barren) pharmacy. Really? I am sure they deal with more than just IVF meds, but still.....terrible name, yet very very funny! I can't help but laugh every time I think of it. You can't make this stuff up! IRONY......(yelled towards the sky as I drop to my knees and pump my fists in the air) But, seriously, that's funny.

Lupron. We ordered Lupron. After placing the order, the woman (from Barron Pharmacy) proceeded to tell me that this drug can cause menopausal/post-menopausal like symptoms. She also said (her words) "Expect Hot Flashes."

Hmmm? This gets just a little more interesting every day. Bring on the hot flashes.

I may have to make this my motto!

A lot happened, 4 years ago.

Exactly four years ago today I was cursing many things. My best friend (sorry JoElla), my body, ridiculous ideas, the entire state of FL, and last, but nearly not least (trust me), Disney characters.

At the time, exactly four years ago, I was right in the middle of running a marathon. Yeah....26.2 miles. Every last tenth of a mile. Right about now I think I was nearing mile 20 and the word "run" was really being stretched to meet it's definition. I was in motion, yes, but "running" would not accurately describe that motion. It was more like walking (limping), but in my mind, I was running.

This was the Walt Disney World Marathon, which naturally (as it's name would imply) took place in Disney World. At first, it was so exciting. Each mile we would see different Disney characters. Our first encounter was Chip and Dale. I was so excited to see them I nearly knocked people over to get a hug. Funny how things change, because by mile 15 I was threatening to punch any character that got near me. At mile 18 I hit my wall. The adrenaline had pretty much worn off and the idea of running 26.2 miles was so ludicrous, I couldn't figure out why I had agreed to do the race in the first place.

JoElla and I crossing the finish line


Showing off our medals after the race. It may not look like it here, but I wanted to die.


At mile 20 I wanted to quit. I was done. Jo kept encouraging me and all I wanted to do was punch her (sorry Jo). But, we pushed through and we made it to the finish! Although I probably was not the ideal running partner by the end of the race, I am forever thankful to JoElla for pushing me through the experience. It is an accomplishment I will always be proud to say I completed. And one that lead me to an even bigger accomplishment.......

Quitting Smoking. I know, gross, right? I was a smoker. And towards the end, I was a fairly heavy smoker. I smoked over a pack a day. For nearly 10 years. I tried several times to quit. There were two major factors to me quitting.....
1. I had met a man (Brandon) I really liked and he was not interested in dating a smoker. (He never complained, but I could tell he didn't find smoking sexy..big surprise, huh?)
2. If I could run a freaking marathon, there was absolutely NO reason why I couldn't quit smoking.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't just run a marathon then say BYE to cigarettes cold turkey the next day. I had cut back on my smoking quite a bit, as I had met Brandon in October of 2006. I had also cut back because I was busy training for the marathon. These two factors made it possible for me to finally kiss cigarettes good bye. In fact, the day after I returned home from FL (the day after the marathon) I had my final cigarette. And I haven't looked back.

I know there are people who will make up 1,000 excuses why they can't quit (I was one of those people), but you can. Just do it. Just tell yourself you have had enough. And take it one hour at a time. If you can make it through one regularly scheduled "smoke break" without a cigarette, then pat yourself on the back and look towards making it through one more. Be strong and be proud of yourself. That pride will take you a lot farther than a cigarette. Trust me!

Happy Birthday Grandma

Today my Grandma is celebrating her 91st birthday! I would assume in 91 years of life you acquire lots of friends and loved ones. Most of these friends and loved ones probably want to call you on your birthday and tell you how much they love you and how much they adore you. I know that is what I would like to do.

But, I am finding that to be a hard task. You see, Grandma Ryan does not have call waiting. I have been trying to get through to her all morning, but with no success. Busy signal.....all day long.

I think it's a great problem to have. So many people wanting to wish you a Happy Birthday. I only wish there was a queue.....and I could officially get in line.

Happy 91st Birthday Grandma! You are sweet and smart. Loving and funny. You are my hero in so many ways. Strong, both physically and mentally. And perfectly stubborn when you want to be. 91 years of life and you still laugh often and know how to tell a good joke. Your stories are amazing and always fresh. You can remember the most amazing details in your stories....down to what you may have been wearing or the name of the street you were on. You are an amazing woman....a constant reminder of how to be strong! I love you more than any blog or words could express. I only hope you know that anytime you think of me.

Now I just hope I can get through to you on the telephone, so I can tell you all these things personally! I love you!

They have arrived

The drugs that is (some of them)!

We had to order a bunch of our IVF medications (the injectables) from London. I picked the package up yesterday at the post office. CRAZY.

I read over the inserted documents, which basically only told me two things.
1. These drugs cause side effects including, but not limited to, migraines (I already get those), moodiness (check), bloating, nausea, tenderness, etc
*I have most of these side effects already...and I am not even on these drugs :)
2. These drugs can lead to multiple births (i.e. twins, triplets)
*Not sure why they had to add the example of twins and triplets (i.e. anyone taking these drugs already knows their increased chances of conceiving multiple births). One website I read actually said "You will have a 10 to 40 percent chance of conceiving twins or more with these fertility drugs". Ahhh...splendid.

We are counting down the days until we start our process (approximately 18 days) and it is quickly becoming real. I get more excited the closer we get to the start date. And now my nerves are kicking in.

One of the things I am a little (a lot) concerned about are the injections. I know we will get all the information and instructions we need to do this ourselves, but I am not really sure my steady (shaky) hands are capable of sticking a needle in my body everyday. And I am definitely not sure Brandon's gag reflect can tolerate injections. If nothing else, I expect comedy from the situation....and maybe a little pain.

Brandon has been a real trooper through all of this so far. I know he has some anxieties about the upcoming weeks, too, but he has handled it well. In typical southern style, I have to give him a preemptive "Bless His Heart".... because he is getting ready to have to deal with a woman who is not his normal wife. Once these medications are started, I will most likely turn into a she-beast...all hopped up on hormones and emotionally dysfunctional. Bless his heart, I know he will be amazing, as usual.

We consider ourselves lucky for the opportunity to try IVF. I always think about what couples did 30 years ago in this situation. I would assume they were told they could never have children and that was that. We know it's a blessing to have the technology available to give us a shot at IVF. We are hoping and praying things work out for the best.

It makes me laugh (nervously) to think that we may not even have a clue, at this moment, what the "best" situation might be for us. Who knows where this process takes us....all I know it that in the end, one way or another, we will be parents. Whether it be from a child I carry or one we are blessed with through adoption, either way.... I am ready. I know Brandon will be an amazing father and together we will make great parents.

Please keep your fingers crossed for us. Eighteen days (approximately) from now we start a new chapter in our lives. One we feel positive about! We are ready! I just hope the journey is ready for us!

Just a little behind the times....

I have been telling myself for months (years) it was time to get a new phone. My old phone, known from this point on as "Old Faithful" had been with me for many many years. I can't remember how many, maybe 4 or 5 years? Maybe more? It looked just like the one below, but it was blue.



I can't be completely certain (as it's hard for me to remember last week, much less several years ago), but I think I may have gotten this phone for free when I switched from U.S. Cellular to Verizon. And that was probably 5 years ago.

Anywho.....
Yesterday a co-worker told me about a deal through Best Buy. If you are up for a new 2 year contract with your service provider (which I was), signing a new contract at Best Buy can get you a really really nice phone.....for FREE! You will still have service through your regular provider and your contract will generally stay the same, you just get to take advantage of a really great offer.

For instance.....you might be able to get a $500 phone.....For FREE! A really fancy one....like this......



Yep, that's me....updating my facebook status from my phone. It's like I went from the streets to the red carpet (in phones...obviously). My old phone didn't even have games...this phone has about two million apps for games. My old phone pratically had a rotary dial, this new one....Touch Screen.

Sure...I might be getting a little big for my britches, but I need bigger britches....to hold my new, giant, awesome, super sweet, high-tech, entertainment device, otherwise known as my cellular phone. Scratch that....Smart Phone.

I now have the world at my fingertips....and it's a bit scary! It's so nice that I am entering into the 21st century....about 11 years too late!

Late December

This has been my greatest ally for the past week......



Not to mention.....



Brandon and I have both been suffering from winter colds and sinuses. Thankfully...I think the both of us are on the recovering end!

My best friend, JoElla, and her husband Ryan are home in TN from the Peace Corps. We are so excited to have them here. It has been fun catching up! We had an Ugly Sweater Christmas Party on Thursday night and got lots of friends together to celebrate them coming home!


(I really should have moved the dog crate for the photo)

They will head back to Mexico in just over a week, so we will have to get in as much "fun" time as we can between now and then!

Brandon and I have had a wonderful Christmas. We are missing being with his family in Chicago this year, but enjoyed watching our new niece experience her first Christmas.

We hope you and your family had an amazing Christmas! Here's to the New Year! We have big hopes and desires for 2011! Hope you do, too!

Just call me Little Joyce

Last night we got about a tenth of an inch of ice. So, naturally, this morning I went outside to "pre-heat" my car. I lightly touched my foot to the top step of our 3 brick steps on our front porch. I was feeling it out....testing the ice- as some would say. As I stepped down, my foot went flying out from under me and before I knew it I was in flight. I landed, hard, on the bottom brick step. Had I landed on my wrist or arm I can almost guarantee I would have broken a bone (again). Luckily (some would say) my large and cushy behind absorbed the impact.

This is probably one of the few times in my life I have been thankful for an extremely plump derriere. My right butt check broke my fall and I landed directly on the edge of the stair. I know I hit other parts of my body, including my back, but the screaming pain from my right cheek was hogging all the attention.

I cried...I always cry when I get hurt. So there I was.....sprawled half way in my driveway. Frozen. Because it was cold and my bottom was sitting on ice. AND because I was internally assessing the damage to my body. I had worn house slippers for my simple task. Slippers that were no where near my feet as they were now flung 4 feet from where my body lay. At first I was thankful my neighbors were not out to see it (so embarrassing). Then I was wishing someone would have seen it because I didn't know how I was going to get up. I also figured if someone had witnessed the fall, they would say "Oh my gosh, I bet that hurt", then I wouldn't feel so bad about crying.

Barefoot, crying, laying in my driveway. Hair all a mess, glasses on, in sweats and a long sleeve t-shirt. Crying. Did I mention it hurt so bad I was crying? It's no wonder we can't keep our neighbors (please see last post). I couldn't get up on my feet, because I didn't have shoes on. I tried to scoot across the ice to my shoes, but I had sat there long enough that my sweatpants were stuck to the ice. Nice. I eventually came to the decision that crawling was going to be my safest route. So I crawled on my hands and knees to my shoes.

Once back on my feet I held onto my sore butt and whimpered back into the house. I didn't even start my car. I had to regroup first. Eventually the car got started and warmed and I cautiously held my behind and side stepped across the drive way back to the safety of my garage. When I came outside to actually leave for work, I opted out of going down the steps and instead when through the flower bed and walked through the yard. No need to cause any more damage to my bum.

And, yes, I caused some damage to my bum. I have a whelp the size of a nurf football on my right butt cheek. I can hardly walk or sit down without soreness. And now, 3 1/2 hours after the accident, my bottom is already black and blue.

Ladies....if you are looking for a way to add plumpness to your derriere, just fall on ice. It will swell up really nicely. I, on the other hand, am not in the market for a larger butt (trust me), I am just lacking in grace. Just like my incredible mother, I am accident prone. A walking hazard, if you will. Just call me Little Joyce!

I love you Mama! Looks like I have inherited more than just your physical beauty and mental stamina! I, too, am an accident waiting to happen!