My gardens are full of green.....sprouting and mounding from perennials ready to pop! The weather is warming and trees that have been nothing but sticks all winter are starting to grow tiny leaves. Spring trees are in full bloom already in Knoxville. My sweet husband even had to mow our lawn today.
We love Spring in the Bice house, as I am sure most people do! Our gardens go from neglected to weekend priority number one! Just thinking about cleaning out our largest garden somewhat overwhelms me, but I know it's a task Brandon and I will have to complete sometime in the next couple of weeks.
Spring is also a runner's paradise! The weather is perfect for a nice long run. Cool to start, but comfortable by the end. Since our egg retrieval and transfer, I have yet to be cleared to run. I think it's part of the OHSS and the prolonged bloating and general hugeness of my ovaries. I have been told I can walk....for 30 minutes at a time, but only as long as I can carry on a normal conversation without getting winded. Sweet Noah and I took a nice long walk this morning (don't tell, but it was a little over 30 minutes)! It was nice to feel somewhat active! I am ready to come off injured reserves and get back in the game! But, you know what they say.....good things come to those who wait! :)
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Patience
Patience has never been a trait of mine. When Brandon and I first started trying to get pregnant I could barely stand the TWW. I can't tell you how many times I took pregnancy tests, long before it was possible to even know. But, pregnancy tests are expensive, so that had to end!
I used to pray all the time for patience. I would always ask the Lord "Please teach me to be more patient" and not just in the TWW, but with co-workers and friends, and God's general plan for Brandon and I. Patience and Lauren Bice don't generally go well together in a sentence.
About 6 months ago I was at the gym in the cardio theater room watching Evan Almighty (of all movies). I had never seen it before and although I love Steve Carell and found the movie mildly entertaining....I had no idea it was about to change my outlook on patience.
At one point in the movie Steve Carell's character is questioning what God has asked him to do (build an ark) and the decisions he has made. God, played by Morgan Freeman, says this during the movie......
Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?
I nearly fell off the treadmill. And I know I cried (so glad the theater room is dark)! It was exactly what I needed to hear and seemed to fit our situation perfectly. I have stopped praying for patience and instead have started praying for and embracing my opportunities to be patient. I can't say it's made me a more patient person, but it's changed my outlook on certain situations.....and given me lots of comfort. Who knew a silly movie like Evan Almighty could do that?
I used to pray all the time for patience. I would always ask the Lord "Please teach me to be more patient" and not just in the TWW, but with co-workers and friends, and God's general plan for Brandon and I. Patience and Lauren Bice don't generally go well together in a sentence.
About 6 months ago I was at the gym in the cardio theater room watching Evan Almighty (of all movies). I had never seen it before and although I love Steve Carell and found the movie mildly entertaining....I had no idea it was about to change my outlook on patience.
At one point in the movie Steve Carell's character is questioning what God has asked him to do (build an ark) and the decisions he has made. God, played by Morgan Freeman, says this during the movie......
Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?
I nearly fell off the treadmill. And I know I cried (so glad the theater room is dark)! It was exactly what I needed to hear and seemed to fit our situation perfectly. I have stopped praying for patience and instead have started praying for and embracing my opportunities to be patient. I can't say it's made me a more patient person, but it's changed my outlook on certain situations.....and given me lots of comfort. Who knew a silly movie like Evan Almighty could do that?
The Two Week Wait (TWW)
The dreaded two week wait. That time between "ovulating" (or in our case- Egg Retrieval) and finding out if you are pregnant. Over the last year and a half Brandon and I have learned to handle the TWW pretty well. Although, I won't lie...it's the longest, most awful two weeks that seem to drag on with no intention of ever ending (and yes...I am slightly exaggerating).
Thankfully our wait ends tomorrow. I go to the doctor first thing in the morning for a blood pregnancy test. I will learn the results sometime tomorrow afternoon. We are both so excited! And nervous!
Monday night and early Tuesday I started having symptoms that led me to believe this IVF procedure had NOT been successful. Thankfully the symptoms have subsided. I can honestly say I don't know what to think about this pregnancy test tomorrow. I think it could truly go either way, positive or negative.
Brandon and I have come a long way in our infertility journey. We have passed many many milestones and are honestly proud of ourselves and where we are today. We are ready for the next step (hopefully pregnancy). But, if we are not pregnant, we are ready for that, too. We are saying our prayers, crossing our fingers, and keeping our attitudes positive! Hopefully this time tomorrow.....we will be parents!
Thankfully our wait ends tomorrow. I go to the doctor first thing in the morning for a blood pregnancy test. I will learn the results sometime tomorrow afternoon. We are both so excited! And nervous!
Monday night and early Tuesday I started having symptoms that led me to believe this IVF procedure had NOT been successful. Thankfully the symptoms have subsided. I can honestly say I don't know what to think about this pregnancy test tomorrow. I think it could truly go either way, positive or negative.
Brandon and I have come a long way in our infertility journey. We have passed many many milestones and are honestly proud of ourselves and where we are today. We are ready for the next step (hopefully pregnancy). But, if we are not pregnant, we are ready for that, too. We are saying our prayers, crossing our fingers, and keeping our attitudes positive! Hopefully this time tomorrow.....we will be parents!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Mother Nature laughs loudest
Friday afternoon Brandon's buddy, Kevin, from back home (Chicago) arrived in Knoxville. Brandon has been like a little kid waiting for Christmas morning all week. He is so excited to have Kevin in town. It's cute.
Saturday morning Kevin gave us an update on what the weather was doing in Chicago. Thirty degrees and snowing like crazy. We all laughed. A lot. Haha...Chicago is cold and snowy. Sure....it was raining in Knoxville, but it was sixty degrees.
Mother Nature got the last laugh. This morning we woke up to huge snow flakes and cold temperatures. Maybe we shouldn't mock Mother Nature?
Saturday morning Kevin gave us an update on what the weather was doing in Chicago. Thirty degrees and snowing like crazy. We all laughed. A lot. Haha...Chicago is cold and snowy. Sure....it was raining in Knoxville, but it was sixty degrees.
Mother Nature got the last laugh. This morning we woke up to huge snow flakes and cold temperatures. Maybe we shouldn't mock Mother Nature?
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Little Green Men
Have you ever wondered what an embryo looked like?
Here are two pictures of our embryos.
The two with writing around them are the two embryos that were transferred back to me yesterday. Apparently those are the "good looking" embryos. We are really hoping that if they continue to grow and become our babies, some of that neon green will wear off.
Some of the other floating items in the pictures will later become our "frozen embryos". Some look better than others...and they will be the keepers. And some "look a little weird" (to quote my doctor) and will not be kept. Although, let's not kid ourselves, this wouldn't be the last time our children might be labeled as "weird looking"! :)
Today I feel good! Better than I have felt in a couple of weeks! And I am feeling hopeful and excited all over again!
Here are two pictures of our embryos.
The two with writing around them are the two embryos that were transferred back to me yesterday. Apparently those are the "good looking" embryos. We are really hoping that if they continue to grow and become our babies, some of that neon green will wear off.
Some of the other floating items in the pictures will later become our "frozen embryos". Some look better than others...and they will be the keepers. And some "look a little weird" (to quote my doctor) and will not be kept. Although, let's not kid ourselves, this wouldn't be the last time our children might be labeled as "weird looking"! :)
Today I feel good! Better than I have felt in a couple of weeks! And I am feeling hopeful and excited all over again!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Embryo Transfer
Since our retrieval last Wednesday, Brandon and I have both felt as though our bodies have been put through the ringer. Sore, uncomfortable, and sick. I knew I was in for trouble when my doctor called on Thursday and said "are you having any trouble breathing yet?" and then again on Friday when I told her I felt much better that day than the previous two days and she said "Don't get used to it, it's only going to get worse." I appreciated her honesty a lot less when I found myself "worse" Saturday and Sunday. No one can prepare you for the pain and bloating and discomfort that come after an egg retrieval. And apparently, when you have large ovaries like mine, the pain is even worse. I have spent the past three days in bed. Constantly fighting the nausea and vomiting and praying that I don't hiccup, because each time I do, it feels like my insides suffer a violent whiplash. Thankfully today I did feel a little better. Still bloated internally (so much so that I can't fit into clothing), but less pain. Sweet Brandon spent the weekend waiting on me, cleaning the house, preparing meals, and doing laundry. Maybe I should be sick more often.
Today we went back to the doctor and they transferred two embryos to my body. We are so excited. I had a small prayer and pep-talk with the embryos prior to transfer, so I am pretty sure they were aware of the game plan. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.....but it is over. As it turns out we do not think we will have quite as many embryos to freeze and we had initially hoped. It looks like we will be freezing 2-4. Brandon and I are both really happy with that number. We both feel like surely somewhere in these 4-6 embryos we can get a baby. I, too, am over joyed to have a couple to freeze, because I can honestly say, without a doubt, I would NEVER do an egg retrieval again (we wouldn't have to go through the whole egg retrieval process again to use frozen embryos).
I kept asking Brandon why we didn't know this process was so painful. People should really talk about it. It freaking hurts......bad. So, there you go, beware to those gearing up for the egg retrieval. Ask your doctor ahead of time what to expect, how many days to expect to take off work, how to relieve pain and the best ways to get through it. I was told today to expect a couple more weeks of bloating....WHAT? We just had no idea what we were in store for. It's not that we wouldn't have done it...we really didn't have a choice. But, maybe if I was better mentally prepared it would have been easier? But, who knows, maybe it would have been worse? All I know is that I am glad to be through the retrieval and now the transfer. We are keeping our fingers crossed for smooth sailing from this point on.
So now we just wait. Something Brandon and I have learned to do well. We will have a blood pregnancy test on 3/10 to determine if either of these little guys hung in there. And, then, we go from there.
Thanks to all of you for the warm thoughts and prayers. Every single one has helped, I promise.
**** PLEASE NOTE- the reason I was in so much pain after my egg retrieval is because I suffered from Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. There are lots of women who have this procedure and don't have OHSS who have very few pains or aches after the fact! (Just didn't want to freak anyone out)****
Today we went back to the doctor and they transferred two embryos to my body. We are so excited. I had a small prayer and pep-talk with the embryos prior to transfer, so I am pretty sure they were aware of the game plan. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.....but it is over. As it turns out we do not think we will have quite as many embryos to freeze and we had initially hoped. It looks like we will be freezing 2-4. Brandon and I are both really happy with that number. We both feel like surely somewhere in these 4-6 embryos we can get a baby. I, too, am over joyed to have a couple to freeze, because I can honestly say, without a doubt, I would NEVER do an egg retrieval again (we wouldn't have to go through the whole egg retrieval process again to use frozen embryos).
I kept asking Brandon why we didn't know this process was so painful. People should really talk about it. It freaking hurts......bad. So, there you go, beware to those gearing up for the egg retrieval. Ask your doctor ahead of time what to expect, how many days to expect to take off work, how to relieve pain and the best ways to get through it. I was told today to expect a couple more weeks of bloating....WHAT? We just had no idea what we were in store for. It's not that we wouldn't have done it...we really didn't have a choice. But, maybe if I was better mentally prepared it would have been easier? But, who knows, maybe it would have been worse? All I know is that I am glad to be through the retrieval and now the transfer. We are keeping our fingers crossed for smooth sailing from this point on.
So now we just wait. Something Brandon and I have learned to do well. We will have a blood pregnancy test on 3/10 to determine if either of these little guys hung in there. And, then, we go from there.
Thanks to all of you for the warm thoughts and prayers. Every single one has helped, I promise.
**** PLEASE NOTE- the reason I was in so much pain after my egg retrieval is because I suffered from Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. There are lots of women who have this procedure and don't have OHSS who have very few pains or aches after the fact! (Just didn't want to freak anyone out)****
Friday, February 25, 2011
Nearly a dozen....
Wednesday morning Brandon and I were up and going early. We both had our retrievals scheduled and everything went well. Brandon and I are both terribly sore. We are walking so gingerly you may mistake us for the elderly. The discomfort that I am feeling can not be compared to any discomfort I have had before, as I have never felt anything quite like it. And Brandon's discomfort isn't much better.
Thankfully, after talking with our doctor yesterday, the pain has been completely worthwhile. We learned that the doctor retrieved 18 eggs from my ovaries. Of those 18 eggs, 12 were considered "mature" and could be used in the fertilization process. They attempted to fertilize 12 eggs and 10 successfully fertilized! There it is......10 fertilized eggs. 10 chances at having a baby Bice.
Brandon and I are so excited! There is such a huge sense of relief that has swept over the both of us. Although we both feel very positive about our transfer, if for some reason it doesn't work the first time, we feel truly blessed to have at least 7 or 8 potential frozen embryos that was can work with in the future.
Our first transfer attempt will be on Monday! We are keeping our fingers crossed and our thoughts positive as we go into what could be our first pregnancy!
Thankfully, after talking with our doctor yesterday, the pain has been completely worthwhile. We learned that the doctor retrieved 18 eggs from my ovaries. Of those 18 eggs, 12 were considered "mature" and could be used in the fertilization process. They attempted to fertilize 12 eggs and 10 successfully fertilized! There it is......10 fertilized eggs. 10 chances at having a baby Bice.
Brandon and I are so excited! There is such a huge sense of relief that has swept over the both of us. Although we both feel very positive about our transfer, if for some reason it doesn't work the first time, we feel truly blessed to have at least 7 or 8 potential frozen embryos that was can work with in the future.
Our first transfer attempt will be on Monday! We are keeping our fingers crossed and our thoughts positive as we go into what could be our first pregnancy!
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